Stand By Your Man…Or Not – The Trials of Jenny Sanford
The images are burned into our collective female memory…stalwart Hillary Clinton standing near by Bill through scandal after scandal, in those headbands and pantsuits, a near patron saint of spousal patience. And who will ever forget former New York governor Elliot Spitzer’s wife, Silda, who stood at the podium right next to him as the father of her 3 daughters admitted to multiple encounters with tawdry, expensive call girls. Disappointment, betrayal and sadness poured out of her very being and into our living rooms. And the list continues: New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey, current New York governor David Patterson, Idaho senator Larry Craig…
What do all these scenarios have in common?
Right next to each of these men stood a humiliated woman, and lo, did our stomachs churn.
And then along comes this guy, South Carolina governor Mark Sanford! He was hiking in the Appalachia, by way of Buenos Aires, where he was conducting a passionate affair, presumably over some Malbec and empanadas. Once upon a time during the turbulent 90s Mark Sanford thought Bill Clinton lacked “moral legitmacy” after he famously ruined Monica Lewinsky’s navy blue dress. Well, stomachs will churn no more, as Mrs. Mark Sanford, Jenny Sanford, isn’t going to stand near her weeping wuss of a husband. In fact, she will talk to reporters in a car and make a hasty retreat.
“His career is not a concern of mine. He’s going to have to worry about that. I’m worried about my family and the character of my children.”
It’s a shame this clip wasn’t played as much as Sanford’s teary and often strange confession at his press conference. Jenny Sanford, looking not too distraught in a summery white and orange tunic, whisks her family away for a boat ride and to “see some tall ships.” She sounds like a woman with her priorities in order – spend time with her kids, work on her marriage, talk to the press for less than 5 minutes, andthen go have a little fun. There’s something both spirited and grounded and strong in her responses to their questions about her husband:
“Am I okay? You know what, I have great faith, and I have great friends, and great family. We have a good lord in this world, and I know I’m going to be fine, not only will I survive, I will thrive.”
I think the women of the world owe Jenny Sanford a huge and sassy high five. She says she will work on her marriage, but she knew standing at that podium while her husband fessed up to his misdeeds was *not a must-do*. Sanford is being a good wife, BUT is not cowtowing to the rather old fashioned idea in politics that a woman must stand there and “be supportive” while her own emotions are in turmoil. It shows she is paying more respect to her own feelings, and her own identity as a woman, than the career of her spouse.
(I for one emphatically hope she enjoyed that boat ride!)
not a big Sanford fan, but I agree, this lady is a-okay. it’s nice to see someone actually standing their ground against the political machine.
Betrayed wives like Jenny Sanford struggle with trying to decide whether or not to give the cheating husband a second chance — not an easy decision to make. Some leave. Others, like Jenny choose to stay for some of the reasons listed here http://bit.ly/18PCI1 Many factors are considered before a final decision is made. 2 major obstacles facing a wife who decides to stay, are mentioned here http://bit.ly/EdyTe It is far more difficult for a couple to rebuild a marriage in the aftermath of an emotional affair like Gov. Sanford’s affair with Maria Belen Chapur. More about emotional infidelity here http://bit.ly/RhumY. It requires strong commitment on part of both the cheating husband and the betrayed wife. But if anyone can do it, I believe the Sanfords can. More information about emotional infidelity, and further observations of the Sanford affair from an infidelity expert’s point of view at http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com/
The Sanford affair highlights the danger of opposite sex friendships, and how they can undermine a marriage when they cross the line and become emotional infidelity. The e-mail exchange between Sanford and his mistress show the depth of their feelings for each other and provide valuable insight into how an 8 year friendship eventually led to an extramarital affair. Many people underestimate the danger of close friendships with members of the opposite sex, because they start out innocently, and in the early stages, there is no sex involved. Often, the person involved in this type of friendship does not realize how much of a threat it can be to his or her marriage or relationship. More about emotional infidelity at http://bit.ly/RhumY
Left unchecked, strong emotional bonds form, which lead to emotional infidelity, and eventually progress to sexual infidelity. As one blogger put it: He gave away his heart, one piece at a time. It was only a matter of time before the rest of his body would follow. More information about emotional infidelity, and further observations of the Sanford affair from an infidelity expert’s point of view at http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com/
Well, I don’t think Jenny Sanford is such a hero. She has lived a cushy life on granddad’s work and inventiveness. She decided to be a right-wing hyperbreeder family values cheerleader. And yet she can’t keep her own family happy. Look at her — do you see any passion or tenderness or romanticness? Nope. Control freak all the way.
And now, instead of laying low for the sake of her children, she adds fuel to the fire, adds to the publicity, all of which her children will be privy to. How lovely. Tellign the press that she does not care about the career of her sons’ father. She has family money, she doesn’t need to care.
Of course, she will be all right, she has her family money, lots and lots of it, she has her self-righteous and anger and need for control. What she doesn’t have is a kind and loving heart. So, her husband went elsewhere for some kindness and tenderness and romance.
Might be good if you put a label on the box where you want a comment. Not being negative, but spent 5 minutes figuring out where you wanted to hear my rant.
Jenny is not totally innocent. She has known, not maybe in the bedroom, for months that her husband and father of 4 (Father’s Day-less) boys, has not been “in” the marriage.
She has been betrayed (which you never forget) twice: The discovery of the January letter copy in his files at the office, from “Maria”, and last week, when she found out from friends that he had taken a “hike” on the Appalachian Trail, far longer than National Geographic had maps. With his zipper undone. .” And that stupid statement at his 1st press conference, he was “Crying in Argentina.” The man is another George Bush. Psycho, stretched beyond his abilities, hiding behind the Church.
No woman, in my opinion, should suffer the 3rd strike. She may be a skinny fox, and wiping her own hiking shoes on his face on national TV (interview with CNN when she was leaving to go to the beach place is priceless. In my Hall of Fame), but she has the sad future of being Mother, Nanny, Substitute Daddy, etc., with a man whose wee-wee is more important to him than Father’s Day with his 4 (young) boys. What a waste product.
I know, like Ruth Huston (above) that science and psychology have all the answers, but this marriage is toast. And God will not provide. She has to deal with the Iranian anology to the saw, that you are sitting on, you can’t go forward, you can’t go backwards. She should shoot his ass, but that is not acceptable in Western society. Good thing he isn’t a Muslim. He is not fit for further public office (even with Republicans) but needs the paycheck. The divorce will be his attempt to get spousal maintneance (alimony) not time with his kids. How thes a***oles become fathers of kids is beyond me, eh?
To Lester:
“Of course, she will be all right, she has her family money, lots and lots of it, she has her self-righteous and anger and need for control. What she doesn’t have is a kind and loving heart.”
That wasn’t my point one bit. My point was she didn’t have to stand there like Silda Spitzer & take it on the chin in front of the entire world for no apparent reason. Those kind of histrionics *also* add unwanted fuel to the fire. By keeping herself out of the spotlit while the maelstrom erupted, she got to keep her dignity.
And secondly – why should we even care about the philandering of politicians? At this point, don’t we expect them to do these things? For once I am happy that one of these jilted wives didn’t weep and moan in front of the camera, that’s all.
Hello there,
Anyone who wants to know how to deal with a control freak try
following Sofia’s way
http://www.strategicbook publishing.com/LookAfterEachOther.html