You Can Make Him Like You – But Is It Worth It?

By Lisa M on July 27th, 2009

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The intelligent women I know are always seeking new challenges – whether learning new ways to feel sexy (I’m enrolling in a pole dancing class – anyone wish to join in?), pursuing their PhD, or conquering the affection of a man. We rarely seem to take the easy road to love.

Falling for someone who seems unattainable is a common theme amongst women I know. I’ve had friends, myself included, who have fallen for everyone from their boss to their best friend. And we’ve all tried various routes to get the boys we’ve fallen for to notice. After weeks, months, or years of attempting to get him to notice, some finally conjure up the courage to come clean and tell the object of their affection how they feel.

Deciding when to come clean regarding your romantic feelings for someone is a tough call. It requires putting yourself on the line, and opening yourself up for complete bliss or potential devastation.

All the tricks, short skirts, and padded bras available won’t make him like you in the long run. And no, you aren’t one perfect mix CD away from making him realize just how much he loves you. He either does or he doesn’t.

Some things are best left unsaid, but if you truly believe he may be the one for you,  putting off telling him how you feel is just going to make you more frustrated and waste time. So how do you tell him how you feel? A phone call? A dinner together? A letter? Regardless of the method, following two simple guidelines should make the confession a bit easier.

1.  Prepare yourself.  How will you react if he tells you he doesn’t feel the same way?  No one can answer this question until it happens; however, you are better off knowing and not wasting time chasing after someone who doesn’t have romantic feelings for you.  Or, what if he likes you too?  I know of too many instances where I’ve gotten exactly what I wanted just to find out I didn’t want it after all.  Mentally prepare yourself for the best and worst to happen.

2.  Give him an escape. Some say this is the easy way, but I suggest putting it in writing.  This gives you time to put your feelings in perspective.  Although it may make you feel like you’re in eighth grade again, the guy will appreciate it in the event he doesn’t feel the same way you do.

When it’s all said and done, I’m sure we all know ways to turn on the sex appeal and do our best to make a guy like us.  All that work is just not worth it.  Finding a person to love you both in spite of and because of yourself is the relationship we should all strive for. It doesn’t mean we can’t have fun along the road to that ideal, but keep your eyes on the prize and remember that the unattainable guy may not be the one worth attaining after all.