Juicy Couture’s New Line is For the Birds

By Kendra Gilbert on July 31st, 2009

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Is bird the word? Not if Juicy Couture has anything to do with it.

Yes, the brand that unleashed rainbow-colored terrycloth track suits on a swarm of Playboy Bunnies, and basically any girl with a fake tan and fake boobs, is back with a new line called Bird. What I’m about to say is hard to believe but,  it’s true. The new collection contains no blindingly bright colors, or terrycloth, that I’m aware of. In fact, Juicy Couture designers, Pam Skaist-Levy and Gela Nash Taylor, pretty much left out color all together.

But, that doesn’t mean the clothes are of higher quality than the aforementioned tracksuits. Trust me, they’re not. Don’t let the subdued palate fool you, it’s still the same old crap. I don’t even know if I’d call it a NEW line. There is, after all, nothing cutting edge about the gray cardigans, slouchy sweatshirts and black leggings that make up Bird. It’s all been done before. The only new thing the designers have done is abandon their brand’s trademark: nauseating sherbet colors. Despite how happy that makes me, it’s an inherent part of the brand.

Maybe Pam and Gela were trying to make amends for all the terror they unleashed on society by providing consumers with one of the most disgusting pieces of clothing ever invented, in some of the most hideous colors. If they start making clothes in blacks and grays, balance might be restored to the universe.

I just think they’re alienating their primary clientele. Playboy Bunnies only see things in shades of pink (just watch The Girls Next Door for proof). How will they know the new line is Juicy if it doesn’t look like bubblegum?