Remember a few weeks ago when the Jon & Kate Gosselin divorce news was just breaking and I wrote about how he seemed like a creepy emotionless automaton prick? At the time I wrote the article, from the episodes of Jon & Kate, he just seemed like he was phoning it in. That he so fully and spectacularly embraced the douchebaggery that I saw brimming under the surface by not only porking everything that can get his angry, very fertile weiner into, but then discussing it at length in the tabloids is almost too good to be true. Almost.
Let’s look at the stats: He’s 32, has been married for 10 years, has 8 kids about whom he does a reality show for TLC, and 1 quite strong-willed now-estranged wife. In June, the couple announced they were divorcing, and in the ensuing not-even-two months any number of women and weird hangers-on have cropped up professing their undying love.
It is truly mind-boggling. The ‘friend’ with whom he was suspiciously traveling last spring? The barely legal daughter of Kate’s tummy tuck surgeon that he shacked up with not 15 seconds after the divorce announcement? Then the Star reporter who ditched her job for him before the ink on the previous girl’s declarations of their passion wasn’t even dry? And then the BABYSITTER? I literally cannot get a grip on it.
Oh, and please don’t get me started on his new BFF-ship with Michael Lohan.
I could almost understand it if Jon Gosselin was some hot everyman Brad Pitt or even had some irascible twinkly charm, but he isn’t and he doesn’t. He’s a balding, bloated, bitter fratty with EIGHT CHILDREN AND AN UNHAPPY ESTRANGED WIFE. What could possibly be compelling about him? Honestly, I am asking. Seriously. What?
In the absence of any compelling evidence that would explain this phenomenon (does he have a vibrating penis? maybe?), I think this might go down to one of three things:
1. These women are gold diggers. And evidently totally unashamed to have the world know it about them.
2. These women are star f**kers. And evidently totally unashamed to have the world know it about them.
3 These women are crazy. And evidently totally unashamed to have the world know it about them.
In any case, the response is the same: it’s not going to work.First, this guy has been under (self-imposed) federal lock down for a decade, so it’s pretty clear he’d pork a jelly doughnut at this point, if that doughnut was under 25 years old. And he is going to want to pork as many jelly doughnuts as he can, so good luck getting him to commit.
As far as the money and the ‘fame’ goes, these are both of the 15 minutes variety, as there is no way this moron is going to be able to hold onto either for more than about another month. At the very best, he is going to have to pay a LOT into the therapy bills he is creating for his children by publicly balling everything with a vagina.
If the girls are crazy, they are of the ‘Scott Peterson didn’t do it’ variety, which is obviously a safe and healthy way to approach the world. I have news for you: you aren’t going to ‘save him’ and he isn’t ‘just misunderstood.’ But you are likely too crazy to be able to read anyhow, so I suppose these words are lost on you.
Whatever the deal is, I’m just going to sit back and try to keep my jaw from dropping too low while I watch this despot ruin what’s left of his life. I may as well: Britney‘s been behaving lately.
First of all it’s very obvious in your article that you despise him for whatever reason. So your assesment on why he seems to attract this women is not very objective. I’m not sure if you have watched the show because if you do you would have seen how this guy was totally abused by his WIFE FROM HELL. And you would have shown a little symphaty that he finally got out of that miserably marriage. It seem to me that he is just a normal guy who just got out from jail.
Besides, this guy is not even the one who initiated the break up of their marriage. It is actually his shrewish, fame hungry wife. This was initially revealed by her brother Kevin who on his Radar Online interview months ago claim that last January, Jon came to their house and told them that Kate just unexpectedly told Jon “HEY IT’S OVER” and the he can have his own life. This was now confirmed by Jon on his IN TOUCH interview and it happened October last year.
I don’t think Jon is just spreading rumor when he told Kevin last January about this because the media began hounding them only after he was caught with Deanna last April. And by that time they are already living separate lives but on the show they are pretending to be still together.