I am a reality TV junkie. I never met a reality show I didn’t like. Until now.
The premise of Fox’s More to Love is admirable: plus-sized single guy looks for love among plus-size single ladies. In other words, a beefed up version of the The Bachelor. And really, who doesn’t love The Bachelor?
After watching the first episode, though, I was truly annoyed. It’s not the show’s star, Luke Conley, that bothers me. He seems like a genuinely nice guy who really is attracted to bigger women.
Ahhh…the women. Perhaps it is all because of editing, but I am truly growing to despise these women. It has nothing to do with their weight or the fact that they choose to wear trashy clothes that are several sizes too small. As I’ve said, I’ve watched a lot of reality TV and inappropriate attire on dating shows is like peanut butter with your jelly. I can even stomach the suffocating desperation of single women believing that this man that they have only spoken a few times is truly their soul mate, and that they very well in fact might die of a broken heart if he “chooses to end their journey too soon.”
What I cannot tolerate, however, about the More to Love women is the constant talk about weight, rejection and food. Now granted, I’m not overweight, but I know for a fact that just because one is overweight, this does not mean that all that person talks about is a) what their favorite food is; b) why being overweight is a huge obstacle in their dating life; c) how much it hurt that they didn’t go to their high school prom because they were overweight.
You’re fat. We get it. Now tell us something else about yourself. Give us More to Love about you. Or else pass me the remote.
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Comments
Pepper
August 12th, 2009 - 1:11:04 PM
Hey Sarah, I normally love, adore, and agree with much of what you write, yet I can't help but feel that this is coming across as a little (too) insensitive. Your sentiment that eventually we have to move past the hang-ups we feel about our personal appearance so that we can showcase who we are on the inside is spot on, I couldn't agree more. And I'm also POSITIVE this is edited to come across as overly body conscious, as you mentioned. What I can't get behind is this: "Now granted, I’m not overweight, but I know for a fact that just because one is overweight, this does not mean that all that person talks about is a) what their favorite food is; b) why being overweight is a huge obstacle in their dating life; c) how much it hurt that they didn’t go to their high school prom because they were overweight." You're not overweight. My guess is that you probably never were (more than a few pounds or post-pregnancy, perhaps), although correct me if I'm wrong. It's hard. And it's not that (fat) people don't "get over" the sh*tty things that happen to them, it's just that being in such an environment probably brings these feelings to the surface. Being fat is something you have to deal with every day, and a lot of times comments come from OTHER people. People who feel it's ok to say things about your body or appearance just because they think it. I have a feeling that a little more understanding and a little less judgment is just what these women are looking for, on screen and off.
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Kelly Turner
August 12th, 2009 - 1:39:25 PM
all sarah was saying was that the editting is horrible and makes it seem like food and weight is all they talk about- she wants to get to know the real women behind them. I dont get how that is being misconstrued as being insenstive. And the comment about inappropriate clothing was towards ALL contestants on these kinds of shows- thin or overweight. Where is your outrage defending the thin ones? i dont understand why everyone has to be so nice and sensitive all the time. Ive written my fair share on the fat acceptance movement, and the very last thing over weight people want is to be tip toed around and pitied all the time. It is never acceptable to call names or purposefully hurt someonesince they are overweight we cant even comment on their clothes or the fact that they do nothing but cry and whine and complain? Making them go to prom is insulting. They are adult women- why are we rehashing high school memories of rejection? Isnbt the point of the show to show they are more than their weight? yet it is what the entire show is fixated on? I do disagree with one of sarah's comments though- i think Luke is a douche
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Rebeca
August 12th, 2009 - 2:10:29 PM
As someone who has been both overweight and overly thin, I have to agree with Sarah. My God, when will we learn that women are more than a number on a scale, or the number on the tag in their jeans? The shows whole premise is annoying and the fact that the women are reduced to a sad mess- mainly through editing in my opinion and we know that the producers are sitting there asking leading questions to get certain responses... And I agree with Kelly- Luke is just out there to get some, I mean who asks about love and promise rings (that you have to give back) and for kisses and such right away. I'll just stick with "Daisy of Love" because you know that's all about empowerment (haha)
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Pepper
August 12th, 2009 - 2:35:31 PM
Kelly...I don't believe you "yelled at me." There is nothing to yell at me about. I have a different opinion than you and Sarah, and I believe we live in a free country where I am allowed to express mine, dissenting or otherwise. I never made a comment the clothing observation. I'm well aware that almost all reality contestants wear inappropriate outfits, and Sarah's right, it ain't cute on anyone, no matter what their body type is. But frankly, people can do what they want to do and wear what they want to wear because it doesn't affect me in the least. The thrust of my comment was not to assert that anyone should be pitied. The God's honest truth is that everything they talk about and engage in is scripted. The contestants are asked leading questions, made to face "assumed" fears (swimsuits on national TV), and put in awkward situations the tease old, perhaps painful memories to the surface. When I said that Sarah was being a tad insensitive because admittedly she isn't overweight, what I'm saying is that we shouldn't be judging the women themselves for being whiny and unable to "get over it," but instead place criticism on the television station for crafting, manipulating, and editing the same message we hear about fat people all the time: they're sad, lonely, and eat a lot.
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Alison
August 12th, 2009 - 2:41:56 PM
Sarah, I loved this..and couldn't agree with you more. Thanks for writing. :)
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Kelly Turner
August 13th, 2009 - 10:00:14 AM
That is exactly what I was saying, and I think what sarah was saying. The TV show is set up to make them look like crying whiney depressed women. My entire comment wasnt directed towards you, but what I do take offense to is assuming that someone who has never been overweight cant comment on the subject because we dont know what it is like. I am a personal trainer, I work with over weight people all day long and none of them act anything close to the way the women are portrayed on the show. That is what sarah was saying, "show me more of who these women are," and what I backed her up on. And i read over the comments and dont think anyone saidf anything about yelling...
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