Our Favorite Bad Celeb Plastic Surgery
Everyone loves to speculate about celebs and their nips and tucks. Did he get a nosejob? Are her boobs real? Lord knows I’m certainly not against the odd cosmetic procedure, but I also can’t help but stare in horror when said procedure goes wrong. Especially when it goes wrong on their face. When that happens, you’d better just give in and rubberneck.
10. Dolly Parton
Oh, that face. When you have size 75 MMM boobs and people are more taken with the fact that you look like a crazy tranny, YOU’VE HAD TOO MUCH WORK DONE TO YOUR FACE.
9. Marie Osmond
Remember that terrible browlift a few years back that left her looking permanently surprised? And also insane? It left me wondering why anyone would pay to have that done to herself.
8. Kenny Rogers
You and I share the same birthday. We do not share the same predilection for having crazy eye-work done that makes us completely unrecognizable. You are indeed a gambler.
7. Jennifer Grey
Okay, I can admit that Baby could have used a nosejob, but this one was evidently so radical that they gave her an entirely new face with it. Unlike our other candidates, she actually looks fine – just like a completely different human. Maybe THIS was actually the first face transplant.
6. Donatella Versace
Oh, Donatella, I don’t know what you looked like before you started with all the work, but now you look like a duck that got hit in the face with an anvil. How DID you get your top lip to do that? Really, I want to know. I actively look away cringing and shaking whenever you are on the screen. You scare me.
5. Michael Jackson
An oldie but a goodie, but when your nose starts caving in you still qualify. I know I should also include Joan Rivers if I’m including you, but she’s looked crazy for so long I have no idea what she started out as. You, on the other hand, I remember. And now you look like an alien. A tiny, deranged alien. Is this what it looks like inside of you, too?
4. Priscilla Presley
You were gorgeous. Now you look like a maniac. You pissed all over your genetic blessings and this is your payback. Your face is a permanent shame. The end.
3. Mickey Rourke
I don’t even KNOW what you did to yourself to get so…bloaty, but Jesus God I pray it doesn’t happen to me. Whatever it is, I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to drink the botox.
2. Wayne Newton
You may be the king of overdoing the facial work, since you’ve looked like this for so long. I’m pretty sure your face is made of wax. Tightly, tightly pulled wax. If there is one thing this blog has taught me, it’s that singers love them some bad plastic surgery. Just say no.
1. Bruce Jenner
You used to be an Olympian and now you look like a terrifying skeleton. I feel bad saying this, because from my periodic viewing of Keeping Up with the Kardashians (hi, embarassed revelation!), you seem like a nice enough guy. But a skeleton face nonetheless. I hope the new work you had done helps. Seriously.