Jessica Simpson to Write a Book? What?!

By Sherrie Gulmahamad on August 17th, 2009

Yes, a whole book.

Before everyone starts formulating their jokes (which should follow this equation: Jessica Simpson + blonde joke + Thomas Pynchon reference times the probability of being struck by lightning divided by Pi), this story is being reported by Star Magazine, whose sources include the usual dubious “close to the family” anonymous humans. These Team Simpson Deep Throats claim that after her breakup with quarterdouche Tony Romo she wants to tell the world about her many struggles with the men in her life plus her ever fluctuating weight. The hackeneyed movie trailer phrase “everything she has gone through in the name of love” was bandied about which means should this book ever see the light of day, salivating readers can no doubt expect revealing chapters on ex-loves Nick Lachey and John Mayer.

When it comes to her recent love life, the word on the gossipy streets says Romo dumped Simpson because he was embarrassed by her drunken behavior in front of his teammates. No doubt the Simpson camp would like to set the record straight with something as classy as “a book” – which admittedly, is better, or at least longer, than a tweet or a Facebook status update.

Like in the case of many celebrity tomes, I’m sure this one will feature a ghost-writer as the last time I checked, it takes a Lauren Conrad to REALLY write a book, am I right?