Ruby Reminds Us of the Dangers of Food Pushers

By Kelly Turner on August 18th, 2009

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Ruby has become a household name over the past few months- and with good reason. She’s an inspiration, a hero to many and adorable to all. For those of you who don’t know who Ruby Gettinger is, Ruby is an extremely courageous woman who is losing hundreds of pounds in front of the entire world, on her own reality TV show. She started journey at her highest weight of 716 pounds, and Ruby has dropped down to 350 pounds, a shadow of her former self- all on her own.

Unlike The Biggest Loser, where people are locked away and forced to workout ridiculous, and sometimes unsafe amounts, Ruby is still in the real world. She has a team of specialists she assembled herself: a trainer, a doctor, a therapist and a nutritionist, and just like in the real world, sometimes they conflict and disagree on whats best for her. Ruby herself has to pull in the reigns and decide what advice to follow, and most of all whats best for her.

So with all this, the few people Ruby can depend on are her friends, right? Wrong.

“I’ve had friends say, `You look good right now. You need to stop losing weight now.’ I don’t get it. It’s almost like misery loves company,” said Ruby in a recent interview.

Ruby claims she’s even received baskets full of chocolates as presents from friends who know she’s on this weight loss journey.

Ah, food pushers.  I don’t understand them, and I never will. They can take all kinds of forms: your parents, your partner, your rail thin friend, or your over weight coworker.  People just sitting there, waiting to tempt you to stray from your healthy diet.  “Is that all your having?” “Are you on a diet?” “Come on, a little cake won’t hurt.”

Ruby hit the nail on the head: Misery loves company. Not that these people are miserable, but more often than not, its not about you.They often feel guilty for the unhealthy choices they make, and your healthy decision makes them feel uncomfortable, or embarrassed. And since they are human, instead of making a change, and following your example, they try to pull you over to their side to make them feel better.  Eating a cheese steak in front of someone eating a salad is harder than eating a cheese steak in front of someone eating the same thing.

How you handle these situations has a lot to do with how well you know your companions, and what your goals are. If you are with family or close friends who are familiar with your situation, and you are trying to lose weight, it is best to be completely honest. Tell them you are trying to eat healthy and you would appreciate their support.  If you are around strangers or acquaintances, and someone offers you dessert, just politely say “no thank you, I’m trying to eat healthier.”

Or you can always straight up lie. No shame in that.  Tell people you feel nauseous, or you’re allergic, or you don’t like what they are trying push onto you. This is easier with people that don’t know you but can work on friends and family too.

If you are not trying to lose weight and are just trying to eat healthy (which I know doesn’t feel like the norm, but you are actually the one doing what you are supposed to do- remember that) a simple no thanks should do the trick.  Usually the snide remarks are the ones that cut the deepest.  I can hide behind my profession, personal trainer and fitness writer, when people tell me to fatten up, or let loose once in a while.  I tell them “I gotta practice what I preach.” 

My friends still tease me about eating healthy, and since I know them so well I usually toss back a  ”when you have a heart attack at 35, I’ll be laughing about it until I’m 90.” 

Don’t feel bad for being selfish.  Selfish isn’t bad when it comes to your health: its all you have.  Once you turn them down, they will probably forget about it anyway.  You have to do whats best for you- that one meal will be over soon, but if you give in, the guilt will stick with you for long after.  There are always going to be special occasions, parties, work dinners and nights out- have a plan in place and stick to it.    Remember its not about you, its a defense mechanism for them.  Maybe you’ll inspire someone close to you to follow in your foot steps.

To watch her journey, tune into “Ruby” on the Style Network (8 p.m. EDT Sundays)

(Pic via tv.msn.com)

And here’s an excerpt from the show: