The Reality of Attraction

By Lisa M on August 27th, 2009

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As a new inhabitant of the Hollywood Hills, I’ve seen quite a few stars in passing. I almost ran over Screech from Saved by the Bell, saw Sly Stallone driving by, and walked politely past Jamie Kennedy after a leisurely breakfast with my boyfriend.

None of those so-called encounters illicit more than a “huh, that’s surreal….” from my inner voice. I saw them, noted that I saw them, and went on about my day. I’d like to think that I am beyond actually reacting to a famous person.

Needless to say, while I was sitting at my writing spot on Sunset Boulevard, deeply engrossed in the tapping sound of my fingers against the keyboard, I decided to look up at the man standing close by. He was blocking my sun. I glanced up, glanced back down, typed another few letters and slowly raised my head again. No….is it?

No…it is!

Mr. Big. He was in touching distance. My heart started to race, my palms got sweaty, and I realized I was having my very first adult reaction to seeing a star. It was the exact same physiological reaction to meeting my boyfriend again for the first time after twelve years had passed since our last encounter. But how is that possible? My boyfriend is a real human being, not a character, who I am in love with.

This simple encounter made me question exactly what determines my attraction to another human being. What came first, my desire to have an ambitious, assertive, attractive man or Mr. Big? What is media’s role in determining our attraction to another person, character, or ideal?

Freedom of choice is highly emphasized in our democratic society, but this chance encounter was yet another reminder that I may have less to do with my choices than I thought. After years of being indoctrinated with what an ideal man is by media, it was abundantly clear to me on the day I saw Mr. Big that tv’s message worked. Some of us are more Mr. Big while some are more Aidan, but the reality is that there may be very little reality rooted in our attraction to others.