Heidi Pratt Montag, famous for, well, I really don’t know why she’s famous, but she’s on that horrible The Hills show, she embarrassed herself pretty bad at the 2009 Miss Universe Pageant, posed for Playboy but didn’t show anything good, had a clothing line that failed, and poses for paparazzi with her d-bag husband the way models pose at the end of the runway.
Now, she’s found another thing to ruin by slapping her siliconed name on it. Heidi has launched her own fitness site, to help you get your poor, non-famous butt into shape.
Because someone with big giant fake boobs, and had her face reshaped via surgery before she barely reached adulthood is really the person you should take health tips from.
Heidi’s website offers downloadable workouts from Heidi and her trainer, Chad Waterbury. The site claims you get a 6 week training system, 17 pictures and descriptions of exercises, workout logs to take to the gym with you and a sample eating plan.
Excited to check it out? Too bad, cause its going to cost you $19.95 to get past the picture of her sticking her ass in your face.
Wow! 17 exercises!? Blank workout logs!? A sample diet plan!? Maybe you can even learn to spasmodically gyrate like you came straight out of a 7th grade talent show! Where else could I possibly get these things, for free, from someone more qualified than The Heidi Montag herself?
Open your browser, and type “fitness” into the search bar. There ya go.
Continue to suck us dry, Heidi Montag. Continue to try and stay relevant with pathetic business ventures doomed to fail, simply because your name is on them.
Why do one thing great, when you can do million little things horribly to earn a quick buck?
Man. They really should be using Heidi to fight the war on terror. Subject a terrorist suspect to 3 straight hours of Heidi workout videos and he’ll crack, and oh man how he will crack.