“Up for Renewal” Author Cathy Alter Gives Us Cheap Life Advice

By Kat Ahn on September 8th, 2009

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Editor’s Note: We’re really excited to bring you a guest post by Cathy Alter, a DC-based writer and author. Her articles, essays, and reviews have appeared in local and national newspapers and magazines including The Washington Post, Washingtonian, Self, and McSweeney’s. Her book, Virgin Territory: Stories from the Road to Womanhood was released in 2004 and her memoir, “Up for Renewal: What Magazines Taught Me About Love, Sex, and Starting Over” was released in July 2008 and is now available in paperback.

I asked Cathy to write a post that would give some words of wisdom to all of you out there who are going through a tough time whether its in your professional or personal life. As we all know, life isn’t easy and is full of wonderful things called trials and tribulations, and who couldn’t use a bit of advice these days? So Cathy…

Cheap Advice
by Cathy Alter

I am sitting at home, in my pajamas, giving another radio interview aimed at promoting my book. What happens next has happened many times before.

“I have to ask you this,” begins the woman, a faceless interviewer I guess to be around 57. Other times, it has been the voice of an older man, a younger woman. But it’s always the same question.

“Yes?” I answer.

“I find it hard to believe that you could actually change your life by just reading Glamour for a year,” she clucks.

For a moment I remember I’m speaking live and I begin to panic.

“I have to say,” she continues. “It seems like a pretty shallow pursuit.”

She’s right, of course. And she’s not the first person – interviewer or even close, personal friend—to ask me to explain (justify, really) why I thought magazines like InStyle and heavens to Betsy, Cosmopolitan would have the power to transform my life. But the truth is, they did. I actually did change my life—escaping a bad relationship, a dead-end job, countless vending machine lunches of Doritos and Pepperoni Combos, and so much more—by following the advice found in a bunch of women’s glossies.

And here’s the thing. While Elizabeth Gilbert traipsed all over Italy, India, and Indonesia attempting to get her act together (an indulgence I just couldn’t afford, especially in this economy), I found my own nirvana for a much more manageable $144.

And here’s the other thing: You can, too. Probably for even less and definitely without opening up a single issue of Cosmo.

So let’s get started. Because that’s actually the most important step in the process.
In order to truly change your life, you have to take an active role in changing it. You know what your mother always told you about no one knocking on your door? She was right. So was Nike. Just do it.

Also, as you’re dipping your toe into this big pool of change, it will help to keep another pearl of wisdom in mind: This too shall pass. Your situation – whether it’s being laid off from a job or pink slipped from a relationship—is temporary. Without spoiling the ending of my book, I can tell you that I eventually (through many bad hair do’s and failed attempts at glitter eye shadow), came to realize that anything can change a life that’s ready for it.

Make a List. It sounds silly, but it really works. When I was in my depths of despair, I sat down and wrote a wish list of what my life would look like in a perfect world—to be loved, to be successful, to stay looking young, to save more money, and so on. And that’s when I had my Eureka! moment – my list bore a stunning resemblance to all the things Allure and Oprah offered. While a lot of women may tear out an article on how to improve their relationship with a difficult coworker or really intend to try out that recipe for Mexican chicken, I actually did it. And in the aggregate, these small accomplishments really did add up to something pretty transformative.

Enlist a Break Out Buddy (BOB for short). For me, it was and is Jeanne, a trusted friend who is too young to be my mother and too agenda-less to be an older sister. Twice a week, we go walking along the Potomac. On the outbound, we solve all of my life’s problems and on the inbound, we turn to Jeanne’s latest dilemmas. It’s the consistency of our walking, our unbreakable-except-for-death appointments that add a sense of stability that’s so important –especially when you feel like your life is running amok.

Volunteer. My father always told me not to quit a job without another one waiting in the wings. But volunteering is a great way to open your horizons, add to your Rolodex, (not to mention, beef up your resume) while still comfortably employed. I volunteer once a week at my local thrift store. Not only have I scored some real finds, I’ve met shoppers who have inspired story ideas, became profile subjects in Washington Post articles, and willingly (and generously) bought multiple copies of my book.

Don’t Pretend. If you hang out in auto part stores because you like cars, that’s one thing. But if you hang out in them because you think you’ll meet your next boyfriend in the carburetor aisle, that’s another thing all together. Chances are, if you’re doing something that interests you—whether it’s a reading at your local bookstore or scouring the Sunday fleamarket—you’re bound to meet someone who shares in your good taste. Remarkably, I met my husband while combining two of my great loves – shopping and writing—when I covered an event at the clothing boutique where he worked.

Tell Everyone You Know. Whether you’re looking for a new job or a new love, become the biggest blabbermouth of all time. Because just like the Faberge commercial, you’ll tell one friend who will tell another friend who will tell another, and pretty soon the whole Western hemisphere will be working on your behalf.

Finally. If you’re ever in a pinch and need a scouring pad, a crumpled up ball of tin foil works just as well. Hey, who says those magazines don’t give good advice?!

Please check out Cathy’s latest book, “Up for Renewal,” and her website for more information.