Tough Girls’ Guide to Keeping Love Alive

By Lisa M on September 14th, 2009

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I’ll admit it up front, this is hardly the Tough Girl’s Guide to keeping the fire going in a relationship.  I’ve stolen the advice thought of by men (gasp)…

When I read these quotes by two of Hollywood’s leading men about how they have kept their love alive in spite of Hollywood and time, I was impressed.  The advice is simple. And we should all listen.

“Keep the sex dirty and the fights clean” – Kevin Bacon

Yes, these are the wise words of Kevin Bacon, who has been married to Kyra Sedgwick for twenty-one years.  The problem is I, like many women I know, enjoy a good fight every so often.  If this speaks to you, then heed Mr. Footloose.  If you have a problem or an issue in a relationship, confront it.  But do so soberly, without reservation, and without the desire to hurt the other person.  If you’re hurt, let your partner know, but don’t do so in a vindictive, below-the-belt way.  It only harbors resentment and shakes the core of your relationship.  Fight clean.

And let’s not forget the part about dirty sex.  I can’t think of a time when that doesn’t help in some way.  When you’re ready to spice things up role play, dress up, or plan a seductive evening.  Following his advice will help ensure there aren’t six degrees of separation between you and your partner.

“Equal parts lust and respect” - Paul Newman

When Paul Newman was asked what the secret to his long marriage to Joanne Woodward was, he stated the magic potion was equal parts lust and respect.  One thing I’ve learned through being a single girl is that you can’t be with someone you don’t respect.  Spend time considering what it is that you respect about your partner and remind yourself of that daily.  Choose to think on the positive traits your partner has that keep your interest peaked – physically, mentally, and spiritually.

These two men, who both have been in relationships that have stayed strong through time and television have one common theme all women can learn from.  Brains and Beauty.  Intelligence and Sexiness.  The trick is to remember to respect, lust, love and communicate openly and honestly every day.  This is their recipe for success and The Tough Girl’s Guide endorses it.