Stupid Fitness Gadget: The Neckline Slimmer

Buried deep in the recesses of late night infomercial infamy is the newest “fitness” gadget to hit the market: The Neckline Slimmer. 

The Neckline Slimmer website claims “the Neckline Slimmer system tightens the muscles that keep your face and neck looking young and beautiful” in just two minutes a day.

Its a little contraption you wedge between your chin and your chest. You then bob your head up and down like an idiot as it provides slight resistance.

Ugh… I don’t even know where to begin on this one.

This is one more thing that in theory does what it says, but isn’t going to produce the results it claims. It is also one of those pointless things that focuses on such a tiny, minute fraction of the body that can easily be taken care of with just regular freakin’ exercise, or depending on your situation, has nothing to do with exercise at all.

Confused? So am I.

It works the muscles in your neck. Awesome. Does that mean you are going to get rid of your chicken skin under your chin? No. These are FACIAL MUSCLES. They are tiny. They don’t do anything except allow you to talk and make out and chew. It’s like talking about working out and building muscle tone in your feet to take out the wrinkles. They have muscles, too, but you’ve never seen anyone walking around, glowing from compliments on their toned feet.

That loose skin has nothing to do with lack of muscle tone in your face (I can’t believe I’m talking about muscle tone of the face, like there is such a thing). I chew gum all day long - I don’t have massive jaw muscles. It is either excess fat, which causes soft “double chins,” or lack of elasticity in the skin, which gives the look of looser, wiggly skin – which just comes from getting older. If you lose weight, the double chin will go away. If it is lack of elasticity, your only option is to get a face lift, or accept the fact that everyone ages, and if you get a face lift everyone is going to know it, so what’s the point? Building muscle underneath it isn’t going to bring the spring back to your neck skin. 

This is quite possibly the stupidest thing I have ever seen. They are preying on our society’s fear of aging and lack of knowledge of how the body actually works.

Skin gets saggy. Get over it.