How do you know when you and your man’s differences are enough to keep things interesting, but not so much you can’t share a happy life together? It’s a delicate balance, but here are three major clues that your relationship is doomed:
- No Shared Interests: Although it’s healthy to maintain your own sense of self and keep your favorite hobbies no matter who you’re in a relationship with (we all know those girls who change their colors up like a chameleon every time they meet a new man) there’s a limit on how individual you both should be. No shared interests at all is a sure-fire recipe for frustration, a lack of genuine friendship, and a tendency to grow apart as time goes by.
- Different Values & Lifestyles: Think about what your ‘non-negotiables’ are, or the things you absolutely won’t give up (i.e. whether or not you want to have kids), and then make sure your man is in agreement. The same goes for lifestyles — if you’re a natural homebody try not to fall for a party-boy or you’ll just end up frustrated.
- Different Visions of the Future: What do you see in your future as far as career, family, and lifestyle goes? If you envision living in a big farmhouse with homegrown pumpkins on the stoop while your partner sees himself a forever city-dweller in a chic apartment in downtown New York, you’re probably going to have problems finding a compromise that keeps everybody happy.
(Photo courtesy of mrhayata on Flickr)
A guy who has no similar interests, a completely different worldview and outlook, and who wants different things for the future than you? I really hope this guy isn’t making it past the second date.