Like a lot of women I know, I had really high standards when I was single. We’re talking Seinfeld-like standards. Among the almost impossible to meet criteria for twenty something men: no partiers, no smokers, no Republicans, no non-athlete types, no strip club goers, and Lord help me, no velcro wallet carriers.
This left me…well, eternally single. Finally, I loosened up, and during my sophomore year of college I accepted a date with a guy who didn’t just fail to meet my standards, but he was just about the complete opposite, including Social Chair of his fraternity (aka The Guy Who Has the Best Fake ID & Isn’t Afraid to Use It). I thought I had nothing to worry about, I was just going to have fun. It wasn’t like I was going to fall for this guy. Then I did.
The next five years of my life were filled with heartache as I tried to turn Mr. Right Now into Mr. Right. I succeeded not in changing him, but in changing myself. I turned into “THAT girl.”
I may have texted my boyfriend 23 times a night to make sure he was where he says he was.
I may have gone through his wallet to look for (and find, I may note) receipts to strip clubs.
I may have spent my 21st birthday crying my eyes out because I got a framed picture of Mr. Wrong and a Pier One gift card instead of the certain piece of jewelry I had been hoping for.
While I was able to eventually walk away, put the pieces of my heart back together and eventually find my Mr. Right, some ladies aren’t so lucky. Some ladies get that piece of jewelry, and later on a divorce judgment against Mr. Wrong. Some ladies get pregnant, and are forever tied to Mr. Wrong. Worse yet, some ladies get abused, and get to testify against Mr. Wrong.
I’m not saying it’s impossible to casually date someone that you know isn’t right for you. I’m just saying be prepared for the consequences. After all, there are worse things than being single.
So let me get this straight, if he doesn’t meet all your unrealistic criteria he’s gonna ruin your life? No wonder you were single for so long.
Piojo, are you my ex?!
This is so true. Not saying that every guy I’ve dated has met every one of my “requirements” but dating someone you know isn’t the right guy is only asking for disaster.
Is this your subtle way of trying to tell us that Chris is a Republican?
Single for so long, what the heavens are you talking about, Piojo? Where in Mrs. Matheny’s article did she in any way, shape or form refer to being “single for so long?”
Not sure why the message of self-enpowerment and having standards (reaslistic ones, which Mrs. Matheny makes note of in her article) bring out such a negative response in you…
Okay, I’ll relax my standards. But still, no Republicans.
True. You know, I was told by a very wise person once that you shouldn’t seriously date someone who you can’t imagine spending the rest of your life with.
THANK you. As a still-in-college student, it’s so nice to hear that the world isn’t full of the high-as-a-kite nerfwads I am so constantly surrounded with and that I’m right to be a little picky
I have a feeling Piojo is one of those people that had to settle for things they never wanted to. It might not be true, but there’s certainly nothing wrong with having standards! (even though I don’t agree that republicans are a no no
)
I’ve been single for ages,but I try to date prospects, even if we don’t seem to have a lot in common…. and reading this makes me feel better….. at least I’m not settling! TY Sarah
Crap now I guess I’m going to have to give that framed picture of myself to my mother. Way to ruin your surprise!
LOL Lindsey, I agree…Republicans aren’t all that horrible, really! Hubby is one (well more independent but definitely not liberal or dem) and he’s pretty awesome!
Nice article Sarah! Don’t settle girls…BUT, dont’ close your eyes completely to the ones that might not be just the perfect picture in your head. The perfect picture in my head turned out to be total Mr Wrong and the total opposite turned out to be my soul mate. It’s different for everyone!