Tufts University: No Dorm Room Sex When Roomie’s Around

By Sarah Matheny on September 30th, 2009

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Tufts University is laying the hammer down on bad roommates.

The Boston based school has a new policy, banning students from having sex in their dorm rooms if their roommate is present.  The new rule goes into effect this semester, and is said to be based on complaints from approximately twelve students in the past three years.  There is no stated consequence for when one of the school’s 5,000 undergraduate students violate said policy, but school officials say the rule is really just there for those student’s that lack the “respect and consideration” to conduct themselves respectfully (aka “keep their pants on”) in front of their roomies.

While some students feel the school is overstepping their bounds by regulating their students’ sex lives, I don’t believe the rule is without merit.  In a perfect world, I would like to believe that college students are responsible adults, who can make mature and intelligent decisions about when and where it is appropriate to have sex.  However, I’ve been to college, and it’s no perfect world.

While my college roommate never had sex when I was in the room, I suffered a far worse fate.  You see, my roommate’s boyfriend, “Ben,” had a flair for the dramatic.  He was the type of guy who wore a cape on every day BUT Halloween.  I’m quite certain he had a soliloquy ready at a moment’s notice, should some casting director stroll through campus and want to cast a red bearded, height challenged, socially awkward guy with a slight facial tick.  As my roommate and “Ben” climbed up to the bunk above me one night, I feared they were going to take their relationship to the next level.  Instead, for the next forty-five minutes, I was treated to “Ben’s” bedtime story of J.R. Tolkein’s The Hobbit, complete with distinctly frightening, and for some reason British voices for each character.  Could I have been spared the assault, and still present nightmares, I probably would have welcomed some Tufts University rule breaking.

However, perhaps the University could have avoided making another written rule for students to violate had they suggested their complaintants use the five simple words that I uttered that night: ” Guys, take it somewhere else.”

Now a rule that would get me reimbursed for my Frosted Brown Sugar Pop Tarts, that I’d get behind.