Good Guys vs. Bad Boys
Movies aside, most of us still entertain the notion that nice guys finish last–if at all. With that in mind, I sat down with several girlfriends and quizzed them on some of the qualities associated with each to weigh the intangibles.
It’s such an obvious bad deal, the Bad Boy, especially when you take into account that you won’t be able to change anything about him (and you really shouldn’t jump into a relationship if all you want to do is change the other person). Despite this, the Bad Boy seems to keep winning. What is it about him that makes us crazy? I have condensed our most critical errors into a simple list
1.) Independence.
A Bad Boy is not clingy. In fact, he makes it patently obvious that he doesn’t need you around. This lack of regard for you can appear to be independence. What draws most women in is the idea of a man who will not become sucked into us and lose touch with the rest of the world. We are drawn to someone who comes into our world with a world of their own. Of course, most often independence isn’t what the Bad Boy is about. He genuinely just doesn’t care.
2.) Spontaneity.
Unpredictable like no one you’ve ever known, the Bad Boy is a roller coaster where the Good Guy feels like a nice stroll in the park. The rush from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other turns any relationship into a great drama, and you into its protagonist. This might feel like an adventure, but it’s not: it’s a vicious cycle of all-consuming destruction. Wouldn’t you rather take a last-minute trip to some vast wilderness outside the city limits for a weekend of climbing, river-rafting or horse riding?
3.) Sexual prowess.
The legendary Bad Boy has confidence that suggests he has reached a comfort level that enables him to ravish you the way you were made to be ravished. He’s aggressive and not afraid to tell you what he wants–or what he wants you to do. He’s a sex god, right? Not necessarily–if he doesn’t much care about you, who’s to say he cares about making sure the experience is as enjoyable for you as it is for him?
So there you have it, the Bad Boy’s most alluring qualities, exposed as lack of concern, instability and insatiable sexual selfishness. Is he still appealing or are you ready to give the Good Guy a shot?
