The vultures are circling, the talons are out, and the verdict is nearly unanimous – Lindsay Lohan’s collaboration with Emanuel Ungaro was a massive fashion fail fart. Whilst the style mavens tear away at Lohan’s fuchsia bondage dresses, shapeless blazers and black heart pasties, the rest of us might have noticed something else: Lindsay is not looking at all well lately. That’s the nicest way I could say it. You could also say she’s looking ravaged by time. That’s just another way of saying that.
But seriously, why doesn’t anyone TELL Lindsay she’s not looking so great? It is very possible that they’re telling her all the time and she’s not listening, and it’s just as possible that no one is saying anything at all. Well, that’s all good and fine for celebrities, but what should you do if you think a friend needs advice? What’s the best way to deliver it? Here are some scenarios:
Your Friend is Pulling Her Own Lindsay
Chances are, and hopefully, your friend isn’t addicted to anything. If she is, then maybe you need to seek more serious help with her beyond reading this blog post! So let’s keep it simple – your friend doesn’t put her makeup on in a flattering fashion, or she wears clothes that make her look like a frumpy pumpkin.
Advice?
Stop and ask yourself, am I just being bitchy? If so, then find something else to focus on. Why is this person your friend in the first place? Did you make friends with her lip liner or with her? I guess if it bothers you so much, you can pull her into an Ulta or a Sephora and let a professional ambush her, while you stand innocently nearby. If it’s a clothing issue, I really feel like again, you should let it drop. Her comfort and confidence is important. And again, if it’s that bad, then drag her on reality show. Sheesh. Don’t be such a lookist!
Your Friend Says “Supposebly” Instead of “Supposedly” and other English Language Errors
This kind of stuff bugs me. Spelling errors, grammar errors. I’m sorry! I have the OCD!
Advice?
This is another ‘let it drop’ situation. The best you can do is simply say the words correctly or conjugate the verb properly and hope she’s listening to you. Man. That supposebly stuff drives me nuts.
Your Friend is in a Band or Sings You One of her Songs…and it’s bad.
Our third ‘let it drop’ scenario. Be supportive. If you can find legitimately and musically-sound criticisms, find the best ways to crouch them. Start with the positive (”I love your singing voice”) and then move to the trickier stuff, but always be diplomatic (”When you rhymed ‘heart’ with ‘Wal-Mart’, did you mean it to be funny?”)
Your Friend is Dating Mr. Wrong, King Douche, or simply Mr. Kinda Sucks
This is the trickiest scenario of them all. If you criticize him, she will take it as a criticism about her and her choices in men. And if they break up and you tell her the truth about what you thought of him – you always risk your words flying back at you when they get back together.
Advice?
Prioritize the annoyance here. Does he have bad table manners? Does he wear Ed Hardy from head to toe? Does he speak meanly toward her in front of others? Does he play World of Warcraft 17 hours a day? Is he so dull you can’t keep your eyes open when he speaks? Does he never have a job?
My point is – there are many levels of annoying boyfriends. You may have to deal with this guy for a long time – maybe even, forever! So ask her, when you’re both in a chatty mood – “What do you like best about him?” Then you can follow up with “What drives you nuts about him?” Now you’re seeing the situation from HER point of view and not YOURS. And you may find that his Ed Hardy look doesn’t bother her at all, it’s his inability to chew with his mouth closed. Then you can solve that “more important” problem together, and she won’t take your feedback as an attack anymore.
What if she’s your BEST FRIEND and you really don’t like this guy? Try to limit your social interactions with him to a group setting. Minimize the double date dinners and maximize the bowling nights with a group of friends. This way she won’t know you loathe his loud political opinions, and she’ll think you’re all still getting along just fine.
Your Friend is Becoming Dangerously Drunk
Oh boy. That’s a lot of cosmos.
Advice?
Well, clearly, don’t let her do any driving. You may have to take one for the team here. I find shouting “DON’T PUKE IN MY CAR” every five minutes or so really underlines the fact that you’re annoyed with her intoxication. And if she boots in your car – she’s got to clean it up later. End of story. End of advice!
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