Top 5 Halloween Guilty Pleasures

By Sarah Matheny on October 27th, 2009

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Need an excuse to indulge this week? Cast away your pride and treat yourself to these Top 5 Halloween Guilty Pleasures:

1. Tormenting Neighborhood Children

Are you tired of your neighbor kids using your property as a shortcut on their way to school or your yard as a waste receptacle for their dogs? Halloween is the one day a year where you can get your revenge. Turn on some scary music, hide in the bushes with a machete, or, perhaps most evil of all, hand out raisins.

2. Eating Pumpkin Treats

Halloween only comes but once a year, so you’ve got good reason to want to snatch up those seasonal goodies when you can, from Pumpkin Spice lattes to Pumpkin Bars to even Pumpkin Harvest ales. After all, I’m pretty sure “For Limited Time Only” also means “Calorie Free.”

3. Dressing Slutty

One of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies, Mean Girls, is that “Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress slutty and no one can say anything about it.” So go ahead, wear that “Naughty Nurse” costume, be that “Dramatic Witch” or “Sassy Cheerleader.”  I won’t say anything about it … at least not to your face.

4. Hoarding Candy

Childhood obesity is an epidemic. You are only doing your civic duty by hiding the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups in the bottom of the bowl and turning out your porch light early.

5. ”It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”

I’m pretty sure you HAVE to watch this cartoon every year, if not to marvel at the surprisingly religious tone of Linus’ Great Pumpkin parable, then at least to laugh at Charlie Brown’s sad fate of getting a rock trick-or-treating. At least it’s not raisins.