Will this saga ne’er end? Just when it seemed that things couldn’t get any weirder, douchebag daddy Jon Gosselin has found Moses and thrown himself on the mercy of the world.
A week ago, the Gosselins were heading back to court to dicker over the details of Jon’s stealing money from the family bank account. But the balding one has managed to distract us from his financial misdoings, first with rumors of a new show with Octomom Nadya Suleman, and then by linking up with star-effing Rabbi Shmuley Boteach and threatening to fall on his sword–and every other sword anyone gets near him.
Whether Gosselin was or wasn’t actually in talks to do a show with Suleman is up for debate, but his new BFF-ship with Boteach is for sure. And in a weird way, makes sense. Like Gosselin, Boteach has a serious hard-on for celebrity–his own and others, being one of Oprah’s favorite go-to-Jews and having advised Michael Jackson for a time. Of course, since Jackson died of an overdose and Boteach eventually revealed the tapes of their conversations, we know he’s both good at what he does and of unimpeachable moral character.
Plus, Gosselin is a sucker for religion–after all, the sextuplet situation was a result of his and Kate’s Christian faith dictating that they couldn’t/wouldn’t perform a selective reduction once they found out that six embryos had taken, due to fertility treatments. AND, Boteach’s boring show in which he tried to give his crappy advice to people, Shalom in the Home, was carried by TLC. So not only does he get to piss Kate off by being Jewish, he gets to make TLC happy. Perfection!
Now under the guidance of his new spiritual adviser, Gosselin is going around telling everyone who will listen that he is sorry, celebrity got to him, he lost control of his moral compass, but, you know, it’s back now. In a public discussion with Rabbi Boteach for the convenient price of $25/ticket, you could hear Jon say that he would like to apologize to Kate in private.
You know, I never say there is nothing to make a private apology seem completely heartfelt like holding a news conference about how you want to do it beforehand. Either that or you could skip that part all together, pick up your phone, call your wife and say, “Kate, I’m so sorry, I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I just wanted to say I’ve been an enormous douchebag.” That might work too.
Hey Jon, on behalf of my people and Israel, let me say this: enough people hate us already, we don’t need you making it worse.
Comments
Tom
November 3rd, 2009 - 12:49:46 PM
Kate- Quit spreading your legs......
maria mercer
November 3rd, 2009 - 1:58:23 PM
I am so sick and tired of listen about this two ...why???/they are calling themselves CELEBRITIES .....this people is fighting about money is time for the public be smart enough and stop watching the dumb show about a bunch of kids and you the public are making this two MILLIONAIRES can you see that?he wants to be in TV 24/7 she wants to be actress ....and the poor kids alone and being used for money is all.John never love her I saw some episodes in the beginning and he was extremely rude and mean to her and she is a authority in this relationship ,he is a baby and a sissy talking trash about her in national TV.the mother of his kids is outrageous .I am sick of this people please stop talking about them they are loving it all the attention!!!!I don't know what people see in this two irresponsible people ,he having affairs still married and she crying and in the TV.all day ,calling each other thief ,everyday ...WHO CARES!!!!!!!!!!!! AUGHHHHHHH!!!!
Emily Wilkes
November 3rd, 2009 - 6:34:41 PM
First thing, I do not think that the octomom rumors are true, it seems way to weird to actually be discussed. Secondly, what was Jon thinking having a news conference about how he wanted to apologize to his soon to be ex-wife in private?? This makes no sense, and seems like just a money grab. Who would pay $25 to witness that?