He hasn’t cleaned a dish in three weeks.

He left the toilet seat up.

No matter how wonderful your relationship may be 99 percent of the time, it is natural to have complaints about your partner. And after a fight or an argument, we all need someone to vent to about our relationship. Some of us may call mom, a sister, or a best friend to hash it out. Some of us may make the mistake of venting to a mutual friend — awkward.

No matter who you decide to vent to though, follow these rules when you’re getting ready to fill up the complaint box.

1. Inform Your Partner. Be sure whatever is on your mind is an issue you have addressed with your partner first. Give them an opportunity to explain why they’ve behaved a certain way. Do not make this a “bitch list.” Approach your relationship concerns with an attitude of, “How can we make our relationship better?”

2. But Maybe You Shouldn’t Tell Them Everything. Sometimes we just need to vent. We need to vent about little things. And after we vent to a friend, we feel better. The important thing is to not sweat the little things. And if they’re little, do vent to a friend, and leave your partner to live in peace — if it is something you can handle without bringing it up. Not every complaint needs to be heard after all. And if you have no one to vent to, visit the online complaint box when you just need to get it out of your system.

Once again, communicating with your partner is key, just be sure you are communicating about important concerns in your relationship. Know that the small stuff is part of living and growing together.

Keep your confidant’s number close by when you just need to vent, but keep your partner even closer when it comes to the big stuff.

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