Breaking News: Crazy, Rich, Not-Very-Bright Girls Do Not Like Each Other

By Sherrie Gulmahamad on November 17th, 2009

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Paris Hilton is reportedly peeved that the uber-talented and completely relevant Kardashian sisters have eclipsed her own mind-numbing brand of undeserved annoying celebrity. Paris just woke up this morning to find out she does not have a fabulous rear end, a husband playing for the Lakers, or a dad as creepy looking as Bruce Jenner, and it makes her unhappy!

A probably-completely-legit inside source said: “[Paris] used to command $100,000 for club appearances, but now Kim is the hottest girl — and they aren’t friends anymore.”

Wait, make sure you’ve swallowed that sip of coffee or bite of danish, here comes the doozy:

“Paris has realized that standing for excess in a recession doesn’t appeal,” our insider continued. “The Kardashian girls seem more real, and girls identify with them more. She’s got to ditch the pink Bentley and concentrate on developing herself.”

What the HELL. Paris has been huffing her own perfume again, she thinks the K sisters are succeeding because of how “relate-able” they are? Maybe it’s just me and my sad little life, but I haven’t fallen in love with Lamar Odom thereby securing excellent Lakers tickets for life (or for the duration of the marriage). I also didn’t have a famous sex tape in circulation, netting me $5 million dollars in a suit against Vivid Entertainment. I’d make a bitchy comment about the third sister, but I think I’ve made my point already. Paris, the Kardashians aren’t famous because we’re relating to their lifestyles in this economic downturn! They’re famous because people got simply sick of, well, you!

Alright, you Twirlites out there, sound off. Who bugs you the most? You still think Paris is just “acting stupid”? Do you love the Kardashians? If so, what are you smoking, and can I have some?