During the weeks leading up to Christmas, it was all the Squeenager talked about. We were going to Canada for the holidays to spend our first Christmas with my fiance. The envy of all her friends, she came home from school every day with more friends who were green on account of her holiday plans. We told her again and again that Canadians don’t live in igloos, but the novelty of a Canadian holiday didn’t wear off. It only grew brighter and more awesome as the minutes counted down.
Overall, the trip was long, but uneventful. I did make the mistake of not getting her passport. In order to enter Canada from the U.S., minors under sixteen don’t need a passport. You need to present border officials with a copy of the child’s birth certificate, and if you’re divorced, they suggest bringing a letter of acknowledgment from both parents that you’re not kidnapping your own child. I realize this is a very real danger, but trust me when I tell you that even following their rules and suggestions to the letter will not exemplify you from the cold scrutiny of border patrol. After a grueling fifteen minute interrogation, we were back on the road to Toronto.
I realized midway through the trip that she and I had not vacationed together since she was five, and we went to Disney World. I was just as excited about sharing my favorite city with her as I was the magic of Disney, and couldn’t wait to hand her a “Toonie” and three quarters to ride the bus to Eglinton Square for a few last minute gifts. Her eyes lit up when we stepped into Sugar Mountain; after all, what’s Christmas without candy? We were literally two kids in a candy store mixing and matching sour sugar-coated gummy confections in a bag like pirates gathering booty.
Despite our mutual excitement for this trip, we were also a little scared too. There we were, far away from home on Christmas. There was no ham or breaded pineapple this year. We didn’t bake cookies or decorate the tree with the ornaments she and I have both been collecting since birth. We were doing new holiday things together, and when she admitted to me that she was afraid we wouldn’t continue many of the old traditions we kept while she was growing up, I too felt that fear. What if Christmas was never the same again, and instead of bringing us closer together as the holidays should, it drove us further apart?
So, this year we started new traditions, like eating tacos on Christmas Eve while playing games and watching Gremlins. There was also an incident with an Ouija board that will not be committed to our list of new traditions, but I do think we managed to make a few new memories that will resonate with warmth and longing just as much as the old ones. Christmas morning was greeted at 5 a.m. with the same anticipation and excitement as always, and as I put on coffee and slipped cinnamon buns into the oven, the familiar scent of Christmas morning permeated the apartment and made it feel like home.
As we come up on a brand new year,the promise of many an exciting adventure lie ahead for us both. We will continue to make new memories and new traditions every day, and while it may not always be easy, I know we’ll be stronger in the end. In an age where it seems more parents are divorced or raising children on their own, strength and determination is what holds families together in spirit, even after they’ve physically fallen apart.
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Comments
Tia
December 28th, 2009 - 3:06:27 PM
Sounds like the two of you make a great team. That's great to hear when so often families are changed by separation (of varying kinds)and not generally for the better. Takes a lot of work to keep it together and stay close. Yours is a great example of how to make it work.
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Michbek
December 28th, 2009 - 3:57:13 PM
I loved this article!!! Venturing into uncharted waters is always a bit frightening, but a positive outlook always seems to help. That, and the strength that comes with unity...no matter the obstacle, the bond you build in sharing it together will make it easier to trudge through! Keep up the excellent advice, Jenny!
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Kody Boye
December 28th, 2009 - 4:04:21 PM
You know... this is going to sound corny, but I really like the way you write about your daughter. When you hear a mother talking or writing about her daughter in a way like this, the meaning of parenthood takes on an entirely new meaning. I'm glad you guys had a great trip to Canadaland. The internet may suck up there (lol,) but the people sure don't. :D
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James Melzer
December 28th, 2009 - 4:13:55 PM
Yes, the ouija board will never be spoken of again. Man-oh-man though, were those cinnamon buns good!
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Chris Bowsman
December 28th, 2009 - 5:42:29 PM
Ya know... maybe it's good to have to work to keep the traditions going. New traditions are definitely a good thing, too.
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Nicole
December 28th, 2009 - 5:43:33 PM
Another great article! Your love for your daughter really emanates from this article. There's no doubt in your feelings for her or how much your relationship with her means to you.
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Cindy Graham
December 28th, 2009 - 5:45:11 PM
Love your adventures...keep them coming!
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christine
December 28th, 2009 - 6:04:50 PM
Beautiful sentiments as always. Sounds like you had a ton of fun blazing new trails!
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girlatastartup
December 28th, 2009 - 6:05:34 PM
What a great post, Jennifer. Its so true..life is not perfect. Its how you deal with life's ebbs and flows, that strengthens your bonds as a family.
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Jeanette Marsh
December 28th, 2009 - 7:29:11 PM
What a wonderful story! I think that you & Squeenager can face the future with confidence; that you will manage the changes to come beautifully :)
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Jim Ryan
December 28th, 2009 - 7:54:17 PM
Very cool. I remember way back in the Dark Ages when I was a wee lad and my mother took me up into Canada for a few days without much fuss at the border at all, aside from a few very brief, pointed questions on the return crossing. How times have changed! I have to say, though, that starting new traditions is an excellent idea. Good for you!
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Patrick
December 28th, 2009 - 8:15:24 PM
Excellent article! Sounds like you guys had some fun. It is nice to hear of adventures and you are actually talking and doing stuff together, its hard when their teenagers. But you go to Canada and no mention of hockey? :)
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Laura
December 28th, 2009 - 9:08:42 PM
We love traditions. Especially the traditions around christmas. A few have fallen by the wayside as the kids have gotten older but each year we make new ones. This year's tradition: DH and DS made 8 dz cookies and participated in a cookie exchange. Mmm.
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Susan
December 28th, 2009 - 9:42:44 PM
Letting go of some things is necessary to make room for new things...sounds like you two had a great time growing together!
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Jason
December 29th, 2009 - 6:24:14 AM
Having a spouse and having someone to rely on to carry half the parenting load, it's easy for me to imagine the load on a single parent. However I never realized the complexity of Christmas and how it effects the relationship between child and single parent. Thanks for sharing and enjoy your Christmas as a new forming family.
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Nikki
December 29th, 2009 - 7:25:40 AM
I'm sorry we don't have a tree- I'm pretty sure Yuri would see it as a big piny threat to his territory and take it down :p
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M. Duhamel
December 29th, 2009 - 9:10:55 AM
What a great story, I just loved it and I am sure you will always have great memories to reflect back on and you will have even more memories in the furture as a family, so that will be something to look forward to. When a door closes, another one opens.
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Drew Beatty
December 29th, 2009 - 5:02:12 PM
Another great article. I'm glad you and the Squeenager enjoyed Toronto, and I think evolving and revisiting traditions is a very important part of growing up. You have discussed this most eloquently here.
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