Comments on: Adventures in Single Motherhood: Let’s Be Honest

By: mimi

mimi — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 17:34:40 +0000

Like the say raising children does not come with an instruction book, One can only do their best and pray that they go out into the world with good strong shoulder to weather the bad storms that will come their.

Hopefully what you taught them will stick with them when they come to make choices on there own.

Very good article and enjoyed reading it

By: David Sobkowiak

David Sobkowiak — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 15:54:06 +0000

Great article. Having an 8yr old daughter and 5 yr old son, we approach things differently for each. As Chris mentioned, we’re not telling them about the sex offenders in town, but we do emphasize of staying alert, knowing their surroundings and staying in a safe area. It’s been hard to always tell them (and mostly her) the truth about everything, and I’d be lying if I said I had. Sometimes it was easier in a pinch, and luckily it hasn’t come back to bite me as it wasn’t a big issue. I think honesty being the best policy with your kids allows them to slowly take in life and its ups and downs, and shows them that you really are there in good times and bad. it helps them to know that they can come to you with a tough situation and be honest and helps them to see that there are better ways to deal with those situations.

By: Laura

Laura — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 14:51:07 +0000

Well said. At three DD came home from play group crying about “stranger danger”. Had to push the good and beautiful for a long time. It’s a hard balancing act.

By: Drew Beatty

Drew Beatty — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 14:44:38 +0000

This is an issue we are still grappling with, especially with our 4 year old, who is very imaginative, and prone to nightmares. Just yesterday he was asking questions about a news article my wife was reading about a mother who died when she was hit by a car while walking her baby in a stroller. The hardest part is answering his questions about what happens next.

By: Kody Boye

Kody Boye — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 14:24:58 +0000

I think that, in a nutshell, parents should be talking to their kids instead of trying to avoid the more brutally-honest aspects of the world. I remember that, because my parents were always worried about how I would react to certain things, they never explained them to me. I knew the explicit details of sex by the time I was nine, so that goes to show you what can happen when you let the kids mentor themselves.

Honestly though, I don’t think it’s incredibly wrong to let certain things slide until later in life. But, like you said, what happens if they end up too green? I myself ended up like that and NEVER wanted to leave the house, then ended up panicking one night and driving 400+ miles to Denver when I’d never even driving ten miles to the next town up by myself.

Using myself as an example, I think it’s better to give children a more realistic approach to the world, and let them explore when they’re willing or wanting to do so. I myself had my own share of disappointments in my early teenage years because I was too secluded in my maturity, so I’ve had to learn the hard ropes fairly quickly over the last seven years.

Regardless, though, I think honesty is the best policy you can give someone. No point in lying about the birds and the bees if they’re going to go out and learn it themselves–physically, with another partner.

By: Cindy

Cindy — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 14:24:30 +0000

So true, so true. Communication is the key to trust and respect. She has that for you and that is a real blessing.

By: Nobilis

Nobilis — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 13:18:27 +0000

Our policy is to be honest but not always completely forthcoming. At fifteen (nearly sixteen? ergh!) the twins can handle most of the truth. Spinderfly is already pretty cynical, and when Nitrolad hears about evil or injustice he’s much more likely to become angry than fearful. He can be a regular white knight, ready to ride out into the world and right all its wrongs.

Sometimes I think we give our kids less credit than they are due, for being resilient.

By: Patrick

Patrick — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 04:04:02 +0000

Excellent article, very, very good. It is very hard to be honest about everything, but important to be upfront with kids. You hit it right on the head.

By: Nikki

Nikki — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 03:41:18 +0000

I loved this article. My mother never held anything from me, and I think I’m a smarter person for it. I learned early on that knowledge is power, and it has taught me that if something scares me- learning about it will help me feel better because I’ll be better informed

By: Chris Bowsman

Chris Bowsman — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 01:39:52 +0000

My oldest is 7, so I’m facing more of these questions each day. Recently, he learned that my wife and I both used to smoke. He was surprised (and a bit disappointed), but accepted it and moved on. Would I rather have told him no? Sure, but what would happen when he finds an old picture of one of us with a cigarette? Now, not only was I a smoker, but I’m a liar, too, and maybe he starts questioning whether or not he can trust me.

I think the trick is age-appropriate honesty. If your daughter was 4, you wouldn’t tell her about the serial rapist who’s on the loose. However, at 14, hell yeah she needs to know about that.