Tales of Snooki: High School, Plastic Surgery & Sex Tapes
Despite my most sincere prayers to the gods of television to save us from this douchey, fist-pumping, ab-flashing plague that has so swept our once fair country, Jersey Shore continues its ratings rampage, pulling in 3.2 million viewers for its January 7 show. Just to put that number in perspective, 3.2 million people came to see Pope Benedict in the first year of his papal reign, 3.2 million Americans suffer from agoraphobia, and there could be up to 3.2 million child workers in the country of Yemen. Perspective is neat, huh?
With Jersey Shore fever running high it’s natural for more gossipy data to emerge about these reality TV show darlings – although exactly how shocked we were to find out The Situation used to be a stripper? Personally, I find it more shocking that Miss Snooki used to have more innocent days! Some photos of her high school days have hit the internet, revealing a slightly (barely?) more demure girl, lacking her thick black eyeliner, orangey skin and Winehouse-esque hair bump.
But demure she is no longer, as she admitted to that bastion of reportage, Life & Style magazine, that she has made sex tapes before with partners but she won’t be “accidentally” leaking it to the public anytime soon (we hope):
“I don’t want people to watch me doing that,” she says. “It’s a private thing.”
And like many other young women in America, she doesn’t bat an eyelash at plastic surgery, “I keep staring at JWoww’s boobs and I’m like, ‘I want a boob lift.’” Snooki continues, “I’m definitely looking into a lift.”
The show has been accused of trading in negative ethnic stereotypes of Italians, but nobody’s saying that the women of Jersey Shore simply make women, full stop, look bad.
Oh Sherrie, it’s just a TV show.
