Sex — we like it and we want it. Being a sexually liberated woman in 2010, I’d like to pay homage to all the feminist fighters before me and make this the decade that women “Just Say No” to bad sex and welcome in a decade of mind-blowing sex — whether you’re happily married, committed, or single.

The following five guidelines are sure to help you get on your way to becoming a sex-splorer and assure you better sex in the new decade.

1. Get Comfortable.

It is impossible to have great sex if you are constantly worrying about your body and how it looks while you’re riding your partner like he’s a bucking bronco. News to all ladies — your partner is not noticing your every body flaw while the two of you are in sexual ecstasy. The next time you have sex with your partner, pretend you have the body of Heidi Klum and go to town. Free your mind of any negative talk about your body and focus on the love you’re getting and the love you have to give. And if that’s not working, hit the gym my friend. Get in good physical health. According to Patricia Esperon, a behavior therapist at Duke University, “Feeling better about yourself in general is a big part of feeling sexual. When you start exercising,” she says, “you reconnect with your physical self — which has needs and desires, which feels pleasure and pain, which is real. You start feeling sexual again.”

2. Be Demanding.

Not dominatrix demanding (unless you’ve already read ahead to number 4), but communicate clearly with your partner your wants and desires. Tell your sexual partner what you like and what you don’t like. You can start by letting your partner know when he or she is doing something that feels good by saying, “I love it when you do that…” For those of you who don’t blush when it comes to talking about sex, be direct and honest. If your partner is really in to you, they’ll be turned on by knowing they’re turning you on.

3. Be The Sexual Energy You Want.

We all know couples and individuals who just exude sex appeal. Be that person. Be that couple. If you’re single, love your body and remind yourself of how many different ways you are sexy. When you walk in a room, own it. Know that you are a beautiful, sexy woman with more to offer than meets the eye. When you walk in a room with that mental mantra playing, you are going to exude sexual energy. If you’re in a relationship, give your partner a seductive look during a party, lightly pass your fingers along the upper part of your partner’s thigh when you’re at dinner, whisper in your partner’s ear that you can’t wait until you two are back at home so you can make love. When you start to exude sexual energy, you will attract positive, sexual experiences.

4. Learn a New Trick.

This is an easy tip to follow — just hop online and look up new sex positions. Or, spend some time researching the Kama Sutra or some mild S & M to spice things up a bit. Imagine how surprised your partner will be when he finds you in thigh-high boots and a whip! Adding a new trick to your sexual repertoire will only enhance your sexual experience.

5. Be Spontaneous.

Sex does not have to be reserved for your bedroom only. Explore all the fun places to have sex, all the dare-devil places to have sex, and open yourself to having sex when the mood strikes — whether it’s in the kitchen or an airport parking garage. Opening the sexual possibilities wherever you may be will lead to fun stories to tell the girls when you meet out for happy hour and will leave your partner begging for more spontaneous sex!