You’re Fired! Now Go See Avatar

By The Twirlit Team on January 20th, 2010

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I’m not going to lie. I love Google. It helps me do research for my books, gets me out of a jam when I can’t remember what song that lyric was in, and when I can’t remember the name of that chick from “Butt Bangers 17,” Google is there. Now employees in Beijing have a reason to love Google, too. Even though they may be out of job soon.

The web Godzilla announced recently that they may be abandoning their operations in China, the worlds largest online market (360 million web users and counting), over censorship and attacks on its systems that it claims originated in the chop suey country. For those of you not keeping tabs, China has a massive system of internet censorship that is dubbed “The Great Firewall of China.” It blocks content it sees as questionable, like materials of political dissent, violence and the aforementioned “Butt Bangers 17.”

It now seems that Google may be pulling out faster than Peter North, but it wanted to let its Beijing employees know they were appreciated, so what did they do? They bought 200 tickets to James Cameron’s “Avatar,” gave them to their staff and told them to take the afternoon off to go see the blockbuster flick. Awe, thanks Google. I’m sure they loved seeing a movie about racism and oppression by the white man. That’s swell of ya.

I tried to find out what some of them thought of the film, but all I got was a, “No comrant.”

Google, I love you like pudding, but lining the pockets of Jim Cameron to appease your employees who may soon be left to wonder how the hell they are going to feed their state-allowed one child is just wrong. Couldn’t you have taken them to see “Nine”? Then at least they would have left singing and dancing.

-James Melzer