Single girl in a small town. It is as bad as it sounds. If someone isn’t friends with my ex-husband, they are friends with my last fling. And to make matters worse, everyone seems to know who I’ve hooked up with without me telling anyone. Does anyone kiss and not tell anymore?
In a quest for some anonymity, I decided to set up my online dating profile about two weeks ago. I know, it defeats my original purpose of being alone for a bit. However, I really feel like it will be good to meet new people. It’s time I start dating outside of my circle of friends and acquaintances.
After I set up my profile, I got quite a few hits from guys who were, well, they looked like my dad. If they weren’t overweight they were too old. Shallow sounding, right? Sorry, you go be the bigger person and find out whether the guys in these photos have personalities great enough to outshine their online picture. And remember, no one ever looks better than the picture they picked to have on their profile. With that being said, I was pretty happy when a guy named Jodi (not a typo, that’s his name) sent me a message.
Jodi is in his late thirties, a high-school administrator like myself, and he looked really cute in his picture. We exchanged emails and decided to meet for a drink. We hung out at a local bar for a while and had great conversation. He was cute, but I wasn’t feeling sparks. We parted ways without a kiss but kept emailing and texting as the week went by.
Last Saturday I was out with friends and were certainly not sober. Jodi texted me around 11 p.m. and asked what I was up to. When I told him I was out with friends he asked me if I wanted to meet up for a late-night drink on my way home. Drunkenly, I agreed. I drove to a bar by my house to meet him and we started kissing within five minutes of being together. We weren’t full on making out at the bar or anything, but just sharing pecks here and there. I invited him back to my house to warm up in my hot tub.
While I drove by myself to my place, I was fully aware that I was not 100% attracted to this guy. We made out in my hot tub for a while and kept on drinking. Fast forward to the next morning, when I woke up to find him laying next to me and we were both naked. I started to rustle around, hoping he’d wake up and get the hell out of Dodge. He woke up and said, “Good morning, beautiful.” To which I replied, “I’ve got to get going. I have a wedding shower to go to this afternoon.” That was a lie.
He got up and started to put on clothes and so did I. He walked into my office and picked up my acoustic guitar and brought it to my bedroom. I was sitting on the edge of my bed when he sat down next to me and started to strum and sing “Crash” by Dave Matthews. I like that song. I used to like that song. But at that very moment, I wanted to vomit. All I could think of was how to get this guy out of my house. And before I knew what I was saying, I said, “I’m sure there’s a girl somewhere who dreams of a one-night stand ending this way. I’m not that girl.”
Dejectedly, Jodi put away my guitar and asked if I really thought it was just a one-night stand. I felt horrible, but I said yes. And as he left my house I realized I had never been so disgusted with myself. I didn’t even like him.
