Comments on: Adventures in Single Motherhood: Don’t Be Catty

By: Drew Beatty

Drew Beatty — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 03:31:13 +0000

The phenomenon of girl bullying has begun to get a lot more attention in the education field recently. The differences between girl bullying and boy bullying is usually that girl’s bullying in so subtle compared to boy’s – with the boys it is usually physical, fighting and hitting, so it is easy to see. With girls though, yeah, it’s more about words and looks, which can be devastating. And as Christopher said, the bullies are everywhere.

By: Christopher

Christopher — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 03:13:27 +0000

I also have been a middle school teacher (this year I teach 5th) and bullies are everywhere.

By: Christie

Christie — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 15:33:20 +0000

Do they even make Swatches anymore??! Ahh…those were the days. You know, the ones when you were a total nerd if you didn’t have a Swatch watch or the newest INXS cassette! I think you are so right about what women do to hold themselves down as a gender when all that petty stuff takes over. I think today it is even more difficult for young girls to rationalize their emotions and opinions strictly due to the growing number of elementary aged children with cell phones,laptops, facebook accounts, and unsupervised access to the internet. Photo,video,email,and chat evidence all become ammunition to throw at someone just because the wind blew the wrong way and pissed a girl off that week. It’s frightening to imagine what kinds of women the young girls of today are growing into with those leading examples in their lives. I think this is a great article, Jenny.

By: Chris Bowsman

Chris Bowsman — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 00:21:13 +0000

Wow, you just made me so glad I have all boys

Seriously though, yeah, high school blew goats. I got picked on a lot because I had really low self-esteem, and never did anything to stand up for myself. I never got into a fight, and don’t know what I would’ve done if I had.

All three of my kids are going to spend some time in martial arts. My hope is that it will make them more disciplined and sure of themselves. Also, if that doesn’t work, they’ll be able to kick ass if they do get in a fight. Then, afterward, they’ll high five whoever they just fought, and end up best friends for life, because that’s how it works with guys

By: Kat Ahn

Kat Ahn — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 18:38:28 +0000

So true Jenny! I think its a lot worse these days with cell phone videos, pics, and facebook. The gossip is all online now..which is probably really hard on these young girls.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 18:12:49 +0000

Jenny, you know what I went through in middle school and high school, so this article really hit home. I remember all too well how I felt and how I didn’t want to go to school, how sometimes I wished I was dead just so I could make the pain stop. I hated my life. I hated me for not being good enough. I hated myself for caring what other people thought. My goal as a mom is to make sure my daughter never has to deal with that. My heart breaks at the thought of her feeling that way.

By: Aa Pp

Aa Pp — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 17:36:12 +0000

oops that was supposed to say end soapbox with html coding for effect, but I guess the blog read it as HTML and made it invisible.

By: Concerned Mother

Concerned Mother — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 17:34:53 +0000

Amen on this article. For my most impressionable daughter this started at 4-6 in daycare. One of the prettiest girls in school had become attached to her and kept my daughter like a pet. But whenever she came into her own, wore a pretty dress, attracted attention, this girl would tell her she was ugly, call her names or tear her down. When she wasn’t she was busy trying to addict my daughter too her, keeping her by her side lavishing her with attention.

It became very disturbing and it was a constant onslaught to get my daughter to not follow her around like a puppy dog and to not let her hurt her feelings.

I was so relieved when they were separated in first grade because my daughter had become a passive participant in a group that was mean and catty to the other kids. yes at 4!

Having been tormented in middle school to the point of a near breakdown, I have never tolerated that behaviour. My biggest worry is that since I am so vocal against it that instead of having gone on a different path, she hides it from me.

Look at the songs and movies we have as role models. My kids love Taylor Swift and so do I. But she has a song, You Belong to Me. Every time it comes on I ask why do songwriters have to make the other woman a jerk when they want a man? So it feels acceptable to try and take him. Look at Glee (a show I love by the way, but point this out to my daughters).

How about he belongs to her not because the other girl is a spoiled brat who doesn’t deserve him, but because they just haven’t cross paths in the right way to really make that connect?

How about if we love someone and they have someone else, we don’t have to make that person out to be a B***h. In a world like that there will always be someone out there ready to justify why you are one so they can justify taking/wanting what you have.

Oops now.

By: DQuartermane

DQuartermane — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 17:25:41 +0000

Being in a college town I come across this a lot. I might be older than most when I go to class but I see it all the time on campus and off. And I really don’t know what to say of it.

It can be really freaking scary sometimes the length of hatred that has come up between two ladies.

But I have also seen some women that take the higher road and ignore the fighting. So I do believe that there is hope out there for this ridiculous behavior to stop.

Great artcile.

By: David Sobkowiak

David Sobkowiak — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 14:33:55 +0000

This is one of the things that I am worried about with my daughter. She’s only in 3rd grade, but we’ve already heard of some catty behavior from some of the other girls in school. I dread the thought of what comes next.

By: Mimi

Mimi — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 03:07:43 +0000

I thing today, it is to me, called some type of bullying or victimizing a single person. It is a universal issue that touches almost every school regardless of age,or gender.

It may start out to be catty as you say among young girls, but can turn ugly very quickly.

It a worry to every parent out there.
We as parents have to really be on our toes to recognize when our daughter or son is a victim of bullying.

By: Laura

Laura — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 02:55:43 +0000

Right on sister. Trying to teach my girl about treating others right, even if they’re jerks, do the same thing, or (heaven forbid) “deserve it”. So hard. But so vital.

By: Jae

Jae — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 01:45:40 +0000

You absolutely nailed this. Teaching middle school I can tell you it starts very young. And as we age, we women remain our own worst enemies. If we had respect and sisterly loyalty there would be no “other women” and a lot less trash talking.