We all come to a new relationship with baggage, there’s no helping that, but we also come with the hope that everything will be different this time and that the baggage is just dead weight that will shed itself eventually.
But what if some of that dead weight is still kicking? What if you suspect your new man is pining over an old ex? Here are the warning signs to look for.
He talks about her, a lot. It doesn’t matter if he’s saying good things or bad (remember, hate isn’t that far from love), what’s important is that she’s on his mind.
He compares you to her, or vice versa. Even if it’s seemingly in your favor (“You’re so much nicer than my ex, she never used to smile at all”) it’s a bad sign because not only is he thinking about her way too much (see warning sign #1), but it’s just plain rude and immature to compare people, and it shows a serious lack of class.
They still hang out together. Being friendly with an ex is one thing (when you smile and inquire how things are going if you run into them at the grocery store), but being real friends (actively calling, texting, and hanging out) after being in love is not normal until a very long time has passed, if even then. Most of the time when a couple still hangs out as friends it means one person (the dumper) either still has feelings or is trying to assuage their guilt, and the other person (the dumpee) is desperate to stay in touch in the secret hopes that love will rekindle.
It bothers him that she’s seeing someone. If he doesn’t have feelings for her anymore then why does he care? He’s seeing someone too (you) isn’t he? And don’t buy excuses like “I’m still her friend and that guy seems like bad news.” Feeling a little protective about an ex you really cared for is fine, hemming and hawing and thinking about it when you’re with your new, exciting flame is not.
He calls you by her name. This is clearly a major faux pas and a very bad sign. The only time you might feel like excusing it is if a) He dated the girl for a very long time and the breakup was fairly recent (it could be out of habit) b) if he’s profusely apologetic, appears to realize how bad it must look, and seems genuinely horrified that he made such a blunder, or c) has none of the other warning signs.
(Photo courtesy of lusi on stock.xchng)
it s good wonderful thinking
Hi theres a guy i like, n he dosent talk much about his ex he said maybe one thing about her, but then he posted somthing on facebook about how he dosent like how she played him… that kinda tells me he still likes her.. im worried i dont wanna be the rebound girl, how do i make him forget about her? I like him alot . so idk what to do
thanks
so ya….im engaged to this guy who has a kid with his ex. so i can understand that he has to talk to her for that reason..but there is no set visitation time and he tip toes around her so to keep her happy, affraid that she will keep his kid from him. this includes not taking her to court for custody and paying full (and then-some) support…even tho we have her half of the time. he says that he wants to know that she can pay her bills. and visitation is based around her schedule and what she feels like doing. she is dating someone new and he bitched about it…saying that he was too young. and he kept refering to her new man as the other man. hah…REALLY. im thinking its time to say see ya…but im keeping the ring..oh and by the way…he was against marriage until she got engaged to the guy before this one…a week after she put on a ring, he put one on me.
so ya….im engaged to this guy who has a kid with his ex. so i can understand that he has to talk to her for that reason..but there is no set visitation time and he tip toes around her so to keep her happy, affraid that she will keep his kid from him. this includes not taking her to court for custody and paying full (and then-some) support…even tho we have his kid half of the time. he says that he wants to know that she can pay her bills. and visitation is based around her schedule and what she feels like doing. she is dating someone new and he bitched about it…saying that he was too young. and he kept refering to her new man as the other man. hah…REALLY. im thinking its time to say see ya…but im keeping the ring..oh and by the way…he was against marriage until she got engaged to the guy before this one…a week after she put on a ring, he put one on me.