Heidi Can’t Sell Records Despite Talent-Altering Surgeries

By Sherrie Gulmahamad on January 29th, 2010

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As we all know, because most of us spit the beverages out of our mouths when we saw, reality TV starlet Heidi Montag has undergone a shocking amount of plastic surgery recently.

Why? Aww, come on, do you really need to know why?

To make her EVEN MORE talented! I can’t even get into what kind of message she’s sending to girls all over the world that also want to be “famous and talented.” That blog post writes itself.

Heidi’s painful surgeries have clearly made her a better person, but not a better pop star.  Sales of her record, titled Superficial (great title by the way), have been absolutely effen terrible. And we have actual numbers on it, less than 700 downloads.

Please remember, this album was supposed to be as good as, if not better than, Michael Jackson’s Thriller.

Sadly enough, the amount of catastrophic news on this planet has probably helped people ignore Heidi and Spencer more than ever.

Let’s all turn away from them now. Let them feel the darkness of un-famous oblivion. Let them — dear lord in heaven, get real jobs. AMEN!