What We Don’t Want for Valentine’s Day

By Rigel Celeste on February 1st, 2010

• Share
• Link to StumbleUpon
• 2 Comments

Whether you have expectations of grandiose this Valentine’s Day or are easy-going and easy-breezy when it comes to gestures of love, there are certain things no woman wants to unwrap come February 14.

• Sexy Lingerie. It’s sleazy, uncomfortable, near impossible to get the right size, and it’s a gift FOR YOU, guys, not us. (A pair of pretty, silky pajamas could work though.)
• Gym Membership. Yeah, nothing will drop the bottom out of our self-esteem faster than getting a gift card that says “Get in shape, Flabster.” Sadly this one is often given with the best of intentions since men are logical thinkers and when they’ve heard nothing but “I need to get back in the gym” since Christmas they might think they’re getting you something you want. Or he thinks you’re fat. It’s hard to say.
• Gas Station Flowers. We can tell. Seriously. That’s all we mean to you?
• Cliched Heart Jewelry (or anything else made especially for Valentine’s Day) is just so generic. We want ‘one-of-a-kind’ ‘nobody-else-has-what-we-have’ love, and getting the same necklace as that b***h next door so doesn’t say that.
• Household Appliances. Rare is the woman who dreams of a new vacuum, dishwasher, or power tool for Valentine’s Day (guys: if you actually have one of these rare women you’ll know it), so avoid logical, boring, useful gifts and dig deep to find your illogical, driven by love, crazy inner romantic.

I’ve only ever gotten one of these (gas station flowers), but my worst Valentine’s gift was nothing. We’d been dating for five (FIVE!) months and he didn’t get me anything. It’s not even that he forgot, he just didn’t think it was a big deal. (Needless to say we’re no longer together!) What’s the worst V-Day gift you’ve ever been given?

(Photo courtesy of OUCHcharley on Flickr)