Yesterday I watched in eye-rolling cynicism as the mighty kingdom of Twitteronia slowly discovered the John Mayer Playboy interview, as though this were the first time ever they had witnessed John Mayer being a douche! I, being a practiced Doucheacologist (read: I live in L.A) have known the Signore Mayer to have been a DB of the most concentrated kind, the kind that will write a song to get into your pants, or to re-enter your pants after gaining initial entry. Remember, this is the man who famously wrote:
And if you want love
We’ll make it
Swim in a deep sea
Of blankets
Not only did he also drop the N-word which he has since apologized for, but also the F word, used in a discussion of Perez Hilton, which he hasn’t apologized for. Although, I do greatly appreciate what he had to say about Perez:
“Perez is to hating as Richard Simmons is to health and well-being.”
Sadly enough, sandwiched between the rambling deviant hokum are real stories of struggling in school due to his fascination with the guitar, some actual kind words for Jennifer Aniston (to whom he apologizes to for talking about Jessica Simpson that way), and his love for his 82 year old father.
Mayer continued the apology streak by getting verklempt on a stage in Nashville last night. He claimed he was “slashing himself up inside” while giving the interview, and that:
“In the quest to be clever” (upon saying the word clever, his lady fans give out sexy squeals) “I completely forgot about the people that I love and the people that love me.”
If you can sit through the supportive fangirl screaming, his apology goes on for nearly 7 minutes.
So what say you, women of the Twirl. Does apologizing make it better? Do you feel an iota of pity for Mayer who believes the media is out to get him?:
MAYER: Star magazine at one point said I was writing a tell-all book for $10 million. On Star’s cover it said what a rat! My entire life I’ve tried to be a nice guy…
Should we stop calling him a dewwwsh?
PLAYBOY: What if you were to google the phrase John Mayer is a douche bag?
MAYER: You’d get a lot of hits. It’s this whole perception thing about tabloids, where 85 percent of the stories are not true…
Better yet – if you ever thought this manchild was sexy – do you still think so?
