When something bad happens to someone you love all you want to do is make the pain stop and the problem go away. Unfortunately that isn’t usually possible so the next best thing will have to do: comfort them and let them know you care.
Do something Show you care by taking action. Express your concern in words and take care of the person in small but meaningful ways: take out the garbage, cook them dinner, do laundry, etc.
Be personal A personal visit, phone call, or handwritten note expressing how much you care goes a lot farther than an electronic email, Facebook message, or Tweet.
Don’t say “I understand” Even if you think you do, you don’t. No two situations are every exactly the same so don’t even go there. Just be available to listen and be a shoulder to cry on.
Use “and” instead of “but” Consider this sentence: “I know this is hard right now, but I know you have the strength to get through it.” Now compare it to this sentence: “I know this is hard right now, and I know you have the strength to get through it.” Which one do you find more comforting?
Keep coming back Many people offer their condolences and then disappear back their own lives after a friend experiences a crisis, but if you really want to show you care continue to check up on and offer your assistance for days, weeks, months, and even years after the event (depending on what it was).
(Photo courtesy of central on stock.xchng)
