Death Bear Helps You Get Over Your Ex
Valentine’s Day. V-Day. The festering black hole of singleness. And if you’ve recently split with someone, it hurts even more (I once got dumped on February 5, no lie!). But fear not, according to MSNBC, there’s a new superhero to help you: Death Bear.
Who is this mysterious man? Death Bear is an intimidating, Darth Vader-esque 7-foot-tall character created by New York performance artist Nate Hill. His mission: helping the broken-hearted. He pays solemn visits to the homes of Brooklyn residents who are struggling to move on with their lives after breakups and other painful experiences. Understandably, V-Day is a particularly busy time for him.
Death Bear’s official website explains more: “We all have someone or something we would rather just forget. Things fall apart. Love hurts. Dreams die. But when you summon Death Bear to your door, you can rest assured that help has come. Death Bear will take things from you that trigger painful memories and stow them away in his cave where they will remain forever, allowing you to move on with your life. Give him an ex’s clothes, old photos, mementos, letters, etc. Death Bear is here to assist you in your time of tragedy, heartbreak and loss.”
I see the need for Death Bear, but with a black jumpsuit, black boots and a shiny, hard-black bear head, I find him a bit creepy. What happened to just getting drunk and dramatically burning (or otherwise destroying) all ex-related objects?