My mom wasn’t some dreamy child from the peace-love era, but she did tell me my entire life that I could do anything I set my mind to. All I had to do was believe in myself, and never give up on my dreams and I could make every single one of them come true. Her philosophy was probably based on some hippie concepts combined with leftover American Dream ideals and a dash of personal hope. The thing is, I believed my mom–at least her sentiment anyway–and have spent much of my life pursuing my lifelong dream as a writer. It hasn’t always been easy, but I am doing it, and have passed that notion on to my own daughter.
Let’s face it. Life is tough. The economy right now is hitting a lot of us hard, making everyday survival feel like a dream within a dream most days. Many of us don’t know if we’re going to be able to maintain our present lifestyles. Some of us fear losing our homes, our cars and our jobs and spend nights tossing and turning while we try to figure out how we’re going to put food on the table in the upcoming weeks. With so many worries filling our plates, it’s difficult to entertain the dreams that fuel us with the energy to muck through the difficulties.
I took a lot of flak from a few of my college advisers and mentors when I declared English/Creative Writing as my major. I had a child and family I needed to consider, so why not get a secondary education English teaching degree instead. When I explained that I always wanted to be a writer, one adviser continued to discourage me with tales of a girl who got a degree in my field and wound up working at Wendy’s for years after graduation.
I could have gone that route. After all, I had a child I needed to consider. In the end, it was my child that pushed me to go forward and get my degree in English/Creative Writing. If I had sold myself short and taken an alternative route because I was afraid to pursue my dream, what would that say to my daughter? I have told my daughter every day of her life that she could do anything she set her mind to. If I gave up, wouldn’t that make me a hypocrite? Wouldn’t she be less likely to pursue her own dreams to settle for something less than what she wanted and deserved.
I’m sure there are psychologists and business gurus who would tell me I am doing my child a great disservice by encouraging her to reach for the stars. What if I set her up for a life of struggle and disappointment, they might say. What if she tries to become a model and fails? What if she attempts to make a living as an artist, and constant criticism tears her apart? But I say, what if she became a dentist because she was afraid to take a chance, and every day she woke up and went to work hating her job and herself because she never tried to do what really inspired her?
Many a great dream has been born from the ashes of hardship and impossibility. Look at Oprah Winfrey. If you take a moment to read over Oprah’s biography, you’ll see that all the odds were stacked against her from birth. She was born to unwed, teen parents, was raised in rural poverty, endured physical, mental and sexual abuse all throughout her youth and has grown to become one of the most influential and powerful women in media today.
Life is short. Along the way it is easy to lose focus and get caught up in the call for material wealth, which is often mistaken for success. For me, success is laying my head on the pillow at night without the dread and sorrow of regret. I want my daughter to know that kind of success in her own life, even if the pathway to achieving her dreams is filled with obstacles and difficulty. After all, that’s what life is really all about, right? Fulfillment.
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Awesome, and so right. My mother told me the same thing, and while my dreams have changed over the years as I matured, I have never lost my mother’s reminder that I can do whatever I set my mind to.
Right on. You know what happens when you don’t pursue your dreams? You have a midlife melt down. I’ve seen it happen over and over. Excellent article!
I think the biggest naysayers and dream killers are the ones that are pissed the Dream Reachers have the *brass ones* that they gave back a long time ago.
While there is a certain amount of reality that must be considered, How happy will you be if you don’t pursue your dreams. Travel/Discovery/TLC channels are full of people that reached the pinnacle of their *dream job* w/ the penthouse office, salary out the wazoo that afforded them vacations, homes & things, only drop out-move to the country to start some small cottage industry and end up happier than they ever imagine.
Keep on Dreamin’ & writing too please.
Good job Mom. If you don’t go for your dreams, they can melt away. Then you’re left with no dreams, only dread.
Love the article Jennifer..Very well written and so true. I beleive that everyone should follow there dreams and parents should encourage there children to do the same. Every parent wants there children to succeed and I am no different except that I want them to do in on there own speed and to learn from there mistakes as they achieve there dreams and this makes the dream so much better for them when they reach that pinnacle of there dream. It does does end there because as one get older ones point of view changes and another dream is on the horizon for one to go after.
nicely written, Jennifer, that education is standing you in good stead. and right on to your mother. that gift to believe in yourself was the best thing she could have done. and that you are now doing.
That’s great that we are able to get the loan and it opens completely new opportunities.