As parents, it is our natural instinct to want to give our children a better life than we had. I admit, I have spent the majority of my daughter’s life giving her all the things I never had. She had all the cool Barbie stuff, including a dream castle and more vehicles than one Barbie girl needs. Because she was an only child, and for several years the only grandchild on both sides of the family, she got a little spoiled. Some of my friends would probably roll their eyes and say, “A lot spoiled is more like it.” Maybe they’re right.
Now that she’s older, her wants are expensive. As a single parent, providing for her isn’t always easy, and I find myself having to say no more often than I did in the past. Last night, she and I were joking around when I said, “You know what you’re getting for your birthday next year?”
Her face lit up, “A car?”
I nearly choked on my own laughter, “A job.”
I didn’t have my first real job until I was seventeen-years-old, but from the time I was twelve, until I was in my early twenties, I babysat to earn extra money. My parents barely had money to buy me school clothes every year, much less fund my frequent trips to the music store and nights out with friends. Maybe it wasn’t a structured job at McDonald’s or one of the many department stores in the mall, but earning my own money felt great. It gave me a sense of independence and pride.
The idea of babysitting sends my daughter flying into the rafters. Her limited babysitting experience has come from watching her four-year-old cousin, who I like to think of as birth-control reinforcement. My daughter just doesn’t have the patience for babysitting, and that’s fine, but I know getting her into the workforce will instill that pride and independence in her she needs.
A lot of parents might disagree, arguing that childhood is a time for children to be children. They should experience their early years uninhibited from responsibility, but if they don’t learn how to be responsible as children, won’t it be too late when they become adults? I also think giving her the benefit of responsibility now, will help her make important career decisions for herself later.
I want my daughter to have a good life. A part of me wants to give her everything I can so she has a comfortable life, but if she never feels the pride of earning something she wants, what kind of adulthood will she have? How likely will she be to focus on her future and a career, if she doesn’t learn responsibility now? I’m no child psychologist, and while I wish i could keep my daughter young forever, I don’t want to be taking care of her when she’s twenty-five or thirty.
Encouraging a sense of independence doesn’t mean you’re turning your back on your child. It means you’re providing them with important skills that will help them become strong, responsible adults.
Photo via Jobs.lovetoknow.com
I agree that work is a vital part of growing up and getting paid for it is a great incentive. If only every parent taught their child the value of earning something themselves, our world would be a better place.
I totally agree with you, I use to baby sit for 25 cents an hour and that was way back in the late 50′s.
Then gradually I grew into a larger job like a cashier…
It is good for them to get there own job and they will appreciate it much more when they are older.
I especially had that problem of the “I want this ” more around Christmas Time and bills and rent still had to be paid and groceries bought, not to mention other things.
Has a single parent of two children, it left me with a sense of dispair..
You want to give them the world, but it is a big world out there and threw a job of there own, they will hopefuly get a sense of pride and acomplishment knowing that they can get what they want in this big old world, if and only if, they are willing to work for what they want.
Yes we want to sheild them and give them the best of everything, but that would do more harm then good. But we cannot cuddle them for the rest of there lives.
It a way it is sad to see them leave the nest, but that is what life is all about and we hope that when they leave the nest, they are prepared for life in that big old world .