Why Men Cheat – A Woman’s Reaction
Last week, an anonymous writer posted an article titled “Why Men Cheat” on Esquire’s site. The article details the reasons why he cheats on his wife on a regular basis. He suggests that he cheats because he “needs to” and he’s a better husband for his infidelity.
Mr. Cheater argues it is because of his infidelity that he is better able to focus completely on his wife and family when he is with them rather than spending hours in the basement watching internet porn. Anonymous also states that in order to cheat you must believe that “fated love is a lie and monogamous love is a deception.”
The obvious question here is that if you believe monogamous love is a deception and fated love is a lie, why get married in the first place? As I pondered this question, the answer hit me faster that Joey Greco’s Cheater’s camera crew could find a husband in a strip club – Mr. Cheater is a coward. He married for a reason a lot of men do – he’s afraid of growing old alone.
My initial reaction to this guy’s article was to find him and kick him directly in his cheating balls. As I let his words sink in a bit more, I started to appreciate his honesty – fully disclosing the reasons why he cheats. It’s hard not to rationalize the idea that if you cheat and your mate never finds out – who does it really hurt? And this is where the moral dilemma of cheating lies.
The moral dilemma of cheating has nothing to do with having sex with another person because, when push comes to shove, sex is just sex. The problem with cheating is simple – it’s cheating.
I get why men and women cheat. I understand why they want to cheat – and I don’t think their reasons are much different. The anonymous author argues that men cheat to gain love and acceptance they can’t find with their mate. I disagree. Women cheat for the same reasons detailed in his article. So what is the problem? The problem is simple – when you cheat, you decide that it is ok for someone else to live a lie, not just yourself.
Recently, Jesse James publicly apologized for an affair he had on his wife, Sandra Bullock. This apology came after she professed her unyielding love for him during her Oscar speech. I’m not bothered by the fact that he had sex with a hot girl who worked with him. The part that bothers me is that he decided it was ok for his wife to live a lie and be publicly humiliated.
So, Mr. Cheater – I understand why you cheat. You cheat because you can get away with it. You cheat because you want to. You decided to cheat. So how about you let your wife decide whether she wants to live the lie too?
Photo via People