The bond between good friends is unlike any other and can help relieve stress, improve mood, and even add years to a person’s life, but friendships can take a hit when life gets hectic. Here are 4 common friendship killers and how to avoid them.
“I’m too busy.” When the demands of work and family life pile up often nurturing friendships takes a backseat. Prevent growing apart by treating time with friends as a necessity for good physical and mental health, not a just a personal luxury. If you need to consider scheduling time with close friends regularly, even just 15 minutes a couple times a week can help keep you connected.
“They need too much.” Sometimes friendships can become high maintenance, leaving you feeling drained and guilty, but not if you set limits ahead of time. Let friends know when it is or isn’t okay to call, don’t feel obligated to accept absolutely every invitation, and if some friends are especially needy or demanding be honest about how you feel and work out a system so you’re both happy (i.e. tell her that you’re dealing with your own issues right now and maybe once a week is as often as you can check in).
“She’s busy with her new boyfriend.” Friendships naturally cycle up and down in intensity and new romantic relationships are often a cause of cycling down, leaving one friend feeling neglected and left out. Don’t let jealousy ruin a good friendship, though, but instead realize that it’s only natural (if the situation were reversed you’d want her to be understanding) and that all friendships change over time. She’ll eventually have more time to spend with you, as soon as the flush of new love subsides, and in the meantime schedule get-togethers as often as is possible and really savor them.
“We’re in different places now.” Life goes on and with it friendships have to adapt. If you were both single but now she’s married and starting a family it will probably mean less happy-hour meetups after work and more shopping with her in the baby department or watching your language during girls-night-in, but if you’re willing the friendship can still be a good one. Enjoy what it has to offer and find new friends to fill the gaps.
(Photo courtesy of lusi on stock.xchng)
