A recent article on LATimes.com discussed the relationship between 20somethings waiting longer to marry than ever before, and the rising numbers of unplanned pregnancies and STDs in the age group.
According to the article, in 1970, 21% of 25-year-olds were unmarried, but by 2005, the percentage rose to 60%. The article also states 86% of unmarried people ages 18 to 29 are sexually active, yet 87% of the same group reported that they are not ready to have kids, and almost half of those say they do not consistently use protection during sex.
What age does your brain fully develop, again?
Because of this, seven in 10 pregnancies in the 18-to-29 age group are unintended, and people in their 20s have the highest rate of sexually transmitted infections of any age group.
The article calls the unmarried 20′s the “odyssey years”, and are devoted to ‘finding one’s self’; developing goals, planning a career, and discovering interests. With so many options available these days, marriage becomes a far off goal, if even made a goal at all, to make room for no strings attached sex, one night stands and immediate gratification, with a lot of unintended consequences.
I’ve experienced this split in old- and new-school thinking regarding sex and marriage myself. I am 23 years old and have seriously dated my 24 year old boyfriend for 4 years. We just moved in together and have discussed marriage, but are not engaged and have made no plans.
My parents, grandparents, and acquaintances over the age of 40 constantly ask me when we are going to get married and seem shocked at my, in their opinion, flippant answer of, “I don’t know, not anytime soon.”
Our peers, on the other hand, call us Mom and Dad. We are the only serious couple we know, and with our friends, marriage is never mentioned, except in the occasional joke. They do always tell us how lucky we are to have each other, but add the caveat “especially so early in life.”
And I do feel lucky. The rest of my friends, both male and female, are hooking up, messing around, and not looking for anything serious, which on paper sounds like fun. That ‘fun’ of sexual self exploration, for almost all of them, has brought countless pregnancy scares and numerous STD tests, not to mention the never ending emotional roller coaster of insecurity, jealousy, and blurry relationship lines that drive everyone insane.
But is this really a bad thing? Unprotected sex and disease, of course, are always dangerous and unplanned pregnancies are extremely hard no matter how much you love your child. These severe consequences aside, if the goal of your 20′s is to find out more about who you are and what you want in life, one could argue that working through all the trials and tribulations of different relationships of varying intensity would help you do just that, and better your chances of choosing the best partner for you, if and when you do decide to settle down.
I say do what makes you happy, but just be smart and be safe. Protect your physical self, but also your heart and your emotions. Use protection, get tested, and know your partner.
Oh, and based on the statistics above, your partner’s partner before you.
