Drunk Bear Family Destroys Cabin in Norway
“Here are the keys. I left forty dollars on the counter so you can get some pizza if you want. Don’t have any parties,” said your parents to teenage-you when they went away to Fire Island for the weekend.
And of course, teenage-you had a party. Because teenage-you was a rebel who wasn’t going to let the man harsh your mellow, even if it did mean that the man wasn’t going to let you borrow her Festiva for the rest of the school year.
“Sorry for partying, mom,” you said when your mother confronted you with the beer caps she found between the couch cushions or the Folgers can full of cigarette butts you left in the backyard. But your mother wasn’t swayed by your heartfelt apology, and your Festiva privileges were revoked. Thus, you were forced to ride the bus for three months, which was coincidentally right around the time you went through your ‘street punk’ phase.
But as you sat sideways on the cracked plastic seat, picking at stray threads on the denim jacket that you drew a fist on with Sharpie, you knew it was worth it, because you threw the best party ever.
Well, I hate to harsh your mellow once more, but you did not throw the best party ever. You know who threw the best party ever? Bears.
Even Borthen Nilsen’s mother and grandmother arrived at his cabin in Northern Norway this week to find one of the cabin’s walls ripped off and the interior torn to shreds. It is suspected that this was the work of a mama bear and three of her cubs.
“[The bears] had a hell of a party in there,” said Nilsen. “The cabin has the stench of a right old p**s up; trash and bears.”
Which is funny, because I am sure there’s a Norwegian black metal album called ‘The Stench of Trash and Bears’.
All in all, the family of bears knocked back over 100 cans of beer, ate all of the food in the cabin, and smashed all of the furniture. A little more hardcore than the time that you and your buds pounded a six pack of spiked lemonade and Jimmy accidentally busted the top off the newel post, huh?
I think the most important thing I learned from reading this story is that there are a lot of ‘drunk bear’-related images on the Internet, and that ‘bear party’ is a poor choice of words to use when looking for pictures of drunk bears. And also that bears party hardy.
Happy Friday, everyone.