Fashion
Charlotte Hannah
May 16, 2013

Would You Pay $2,000 for These Dirty Dumpster Shoes?


How much would you spend on a pair of shoes?

The answer to this question varies wildly from person to person. For some, $50 is more than enough, while others are happy to drop several hundred bones on a pair of designer kicks. But I think we can all agree that $2,000 for a pair of shoes that look like they were found in a dumpster is seriously excessive. Crazy, even. Right?

Wrong.

You know how I know it’s wrong? Because a designer called A Diciannoveventitre has created a pair of dirty dumpster sneakers that look like something right out of the Derelicte catalog — and they’re selling for two grand. In fact, the company has an entire line of “ultra-distressed footwear,” all of which sells for several thousand dollars apiece. And presumably, people are buying them.

BEHOLD! This is what you can get for 2,000 of your hard-earned dollars:

The shoes are described as “overdyed, ultra-distressed high top sneakers with pre-rusted metal eyelets and dye-splattered rubber sole.” The description fails to mention whether the shoes have been soaked in authentic, artisanal urine from a real-life homeless guy.

Don’t get me wrong: I actually like these shoes a lot. I dig the style and the fact that they look ridiculously comfortable. I would most definitely put these things on my feet … if I found them at a thrift store (and gave them a good wash) or a discount footwear shop for, say, 30 bucks. But I just can’t wrap my head around why a person would pay that much for something that could easily be made at home for next to no money.

Make them yourself, silly

You wanna make your very own dirty dumpster shoes? Well, you’re in luck, because this blogger just so happens to be a DIY enthusiast, a unique clothing-aficionado and a person who hates spending money. Here you go:

  • Buy a pair of cheap sneakers and remove any branded tags using a seam ripper or a pair of sewing scissors.
  • Break ‘em in fast using rubbing alcohol. If you want to distress them, some fine-grit sandpaper (or an emery board, if you’re really desperate) should do the trick.
  • Get a package of Rit dye in the color of your choice. (This will cost you a few dollars, max, at your local craft or dollar store). Mix it according to the package directions and either splatter the dye unevenly on the shoes using a paintbrush or just soak them in a tub full of dye.
  • Rust some eyelets using household chemicals, or just salvage some from an old pair of shoes. Or don’t even worry about it because no one is ever going to look at your eyelets.
  • Get some thick laces and run them through the wash a few times. Or, again, salvage laces from an old pair of shoes.

Bam. Now send me an email and I’ll tell you where to send the two grand you owe me.