Tropical Macaroons

• 1 c. old fashioned oats
• 1 c. unsweetened dried coconut
• 1/4 c. apricots, chopped
• 1/4 c. almonds, chopped
• 1/2 t. coconut extract
• 1/2 t. vanilla extract
• 1/2 c. almond butter
• 1/2 c. agave
• 1/2 t. salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Put oats and coconut on a cookie sheet and oven toast for 5 -7 minutes, turning several times until golden brown.

In a large bowl combine remaining ingredients and toasted oats/coconut mixture. Mix well and refrigerate for 10-15 minutes.

Scoop dough onto ungreased cookie sheet using a melon baller, mini ice cream scoop or tablespoon measuring spoon.

Bake cookies for 10 -12 minutes. Allow cookies to cool for one minute before removing from sheet and then compress balls while transferring to a cooling rack.

I remember my first visit to Jamba Juice, as I excitedly ordered what was essentially an extra large chocolate peanut butter milkshake, disguised as “health food:” the Chocolate Peanut Butter Power Moo’d Smoothie.  With 700 calories and 108 grams of sugar, there’s nothing healthy about it.  And though the drink contains, non-dairy milk (vegan, obviously), it also contains frozen yogurt that is made from regular milk.  Seriously, Jamba Juice, what’s the point?  Go dairy or go vegan, but don’t do both.

At our house, we’ve come up with our own Peanut Butter Smoothie with it’s own secret ingredient.  Fortunately, this hidden suprise has iron, calcium and vitamin K.  You may spot it on the ingredient list, but you won’t spot it in flavor!

• 1 frozen banana
• 2 T. cocoa powder
• 1 T. peanut butter
• 1 c. vanilla soy or almond milk
• 1 c. spinach
• agave or stevia to taste, if desired

Combine all ingredients in a blender until thick and frothy.  Serve in a glass and drink up!  Use care not to spill on your hot new jeans.

Photo via BusyVegan

When it comes to Mexican food, the “gimme” food that keeps us all satisfied and lets us feel like we’re indulging, when really we are just adding some healthy fats and some creamy, rich flavor, is guacamole. Lucky for me, I have a very fast, very delicious recipe that we all love.

Super Quick Guacamole

Serves 1-2

• 1 avocado, pitted and mashed
• 1/4 -1/2 t. salt
• 1/4 t. cumin
• 1/4 t. chili powder
• 1 -2 drops liquid stevia (optional)
• 1 t. lime juice
• 2 T. chopped cilantro
• 2 T. pico de gallo (found in the refrigerated section of the grocery store) or quality salsa

Place all ingredients in a bowl and

You can use this as a topping for vegan burritos, taco pizza, or even a veggie burger topping. Just don’t forget the fries.

I long to have a decadent yet healthy breakfast brought to me on a tray, as I nestle underneath clean Egyptian cotton sheets in a silk robe.  In reality, I’d settle for clean sheets and a pair of yoga pants with the elastic in the waistband still in tact.  What I won’t settle for is anything less than pancakes, though, and with this vegan recipe, no elastic waisted pants are necessary at all.

Strawberry Shortcake Pancakes

• 1 c. whole wheat pastry flour
• 1 1/2 t. baking powder
• 1/2 t. baking soda
• 2/3 c. vanilla soy or almond milk
• 1 t. stevia
• pinch of salt
• 1/2 t. almond extract
• 1 t. vanilla extract
• 1 c. strawberries (frozen and defrosted, or fresh), chopped into bite size pieces

Defrost and chop berries and set aside.

Combine dry ingredients in a large bowl, and wet ingredients in a measuring cup.  Pour wet ingredients into dry and stir until just combined.

Fold in strawberries and juices.

Pour batter into a preheated skillet , and cook for several minutes on each side.  Serve with Earth Balance and maple syrup.

(Image via Marli Molina)

One of my favorite restaurant appetizers used to be Spinach Artichoke Dip that we’d order at chain restaurants like Applebee’s or Red Robin.  What’s not to love about a creamy, hot dip served with tortilla chips?  And anything with spinach in it is automatically healthy, right?  I was so excited to create this version of my favorite appetizer.  Served with chips or vegetable crudites, it’s perfect for your next party!  You are on your own when it comes to the Bloomin’ Onion, though.

Vegan Spinach Artichoke Dip

• 8 oz. frozen spinach, defrosted and squeezed dry
• 14 oz. jar of artichoke hearts in water
• 4 oz. Tofutti vegan cream cheese
• 2 T. Veganaise
• 1 T. lemon juice
• 2 cloves of garlic
• salt and pepper
• 2 t. chopped basil
• 1 T. nutritional yeast
• 1/4 c. vegan whole grain cracker or bread crumbs (I used Back to Nature “Buttery Rounds”)

Preheat oven to 375.  Combine all ingredients except cracker/bread crumbs and mix well.

Put into a greased casserole dish and top with cracker crumbs.

Bake for 25 minutes.

Peanut Butter Blondies with Chocolate Ganache

Makes 12 blondies

Blondies:

• 3/4 c. natural peanut butter
• 1/3 c. Earth Balance, softened
• 1/4 c. unsweetened applesauce
• 1/4 c. unsweetened almond or soy milk (vanilla or plain)
• 1/2 c. packed organic brown sugar
• 2/3 c. organic sugar OR 2/3 c. NuNaturals Stevia Baking Blend
• 1/2 t. vanilla extract
• 1 1/4 c. whole wheat pastry flour
• 1 t. baking powder
• 1/2 t. baking soda
• 1/2 t. salt

Chocolate Ganache

• 3/4 c. vegan chocolate chips
• 1/3 pkg. (~4 oz.) extra firm silken tofu
• 1/2 t. vanilla extract
• splash of almond or soy milk, if needed

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  In a large bowl, cream together peanut butter and Earth Balance.  Add in brown sugar, white sugar or stevia, vanilla, applesauce and milk and beat until fluffy.

In a smaller bowl, combine flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt.

Add a little at a time to the peanut butter mixture until incorporated. Spread mixture in the bottom of an 8×8 pan that has been sprayed with cooking spray.  Bake for 20 minutes.

Meanwhile, melt chocolate chips in the microwave or in a double boiler.  Cream melted chocolate with tofu, vanilla and milk, if needed.

Let blondies cool entirely before spreading with the chocolate ganache and cutting into squares.  Keep refrigerated.

Vegan Chili Dogs

• 1 pkg. vegan hot dogs (Lightlife and Yves are our favorites)
• 1 pkg. whole wheat hot dog buns
• 1 can vegan chili (try Amy’s or make your own)
• 1-2 c. shredded vegan cheese (optional)
• ketchup, mustard, relish, onions, jalapeños, green onions, etc.

Prepare hot dogs and chili according to package directions. Place buns on a cookie sheet and toast under the broiler for a few minutes, until toasted. Place hot dogs and chili on buns and top with shredded vegan cheese, if using. Place dogs under broiler again until cheese is melted. Top with mustard, ketchup and all your usual hot dog fixings. Remember, if you cover anything with enough “stuff,” they’ll never know the difference!

While I may not notice the absence of animal products in cookies or cupcakes, there’s really no way around the fact that chicken soup is chock full of chicken.  It’s more obvious than a Mariah Carey boob job in a Golden Globes dress.  If you take the chicken out of chicken soup though, you pretty much just have hot water.  Mmm…

This new recipe I developed has all the great things about my favorite Greek Chicken, Lemon and Egg Soup, but without the chicken or its embryos.  Yet it still is more than lemon water.

Lemon Lentil Soup

• 4 cups vegetable broth
• 4 carrots, chopped (about 2 c.)
• 2 stalks of celery, chopped (about 1 c.)
• 3/4 t. coriander
• salt and pepper to taste
• 1 c. red lentils, rinsed and drained
• 1 small head baby bok choy, chopped (could substitute 1 1/2 c. chopped greens, such as kale or spinach)
• 1/4 c. fresh lemon juice (about 2 small lemons)
• 3 T. raw cashews
• 2 T. chopped parsley

In a saucepan over medium high heat and sprayed with cooking spray, saute carrots, celery and coriander for approximately five minutes or until vegetables are tender.

Add broth and red lentils and bring to a boil.  Reduce heat, cover and simmer for fifteen minutes.

Meanwhile, chop parsley and bok choy and make a lemon cashew cream by combining lemon juice and cashews in a food processor.

When lentils are done, stir in greens and lemon cashew cream and heat until mixture is uniform.  Adjust salt and pepper to taste.

I’m not sure why I was surprised then when my four-year-old came home from preschool last week and started talking about how we needed flour, sugar, butter and eggs to make cookies. The ironic thing is, in almost a year and a half now, she hasn’t had any baked goods (from my kitchen) that contain either.  The beauty about vegan baking for me, aside from never having to worry about salmonella if you eat one too many spoonfuls of cookie dough, is that if done right, there is no evidence that your results don’t contain any animal products because they are so incredibly tasty.

This recipe is based off of my old standby, straight from the Nestle Tollhouse package. While they aren’t as buttery and rich as the original, that simply gives you an excuse to eat another.

Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies

So, with my sixth wedding anniversary approaching, I leaped at the chance to do a review for Rent the Runway. Rent the Runway is a company based in New York City that has an inventory of hundreds of designer dresses for loan. Customers browse the gorgeous gowns, ranging from $1,500 Herve Legers to $295 Alice + Olivias, and select a dress. Rent the Runway then ships the dress directly to you, in your estimated size, and the next size up or down, for a rental fee as low as $50. You then wear the dress, and send it back in a prepaid postage envelope. Genius.

The beauty of Rent the Runway is that you don’t have to commit hundreds of dollars to a style or designer that you might not usually wear or buy. For me, however, this was also my downfall.

I had a hard time narrowing down the dresses I liked. I took advantage of Rent the Runway’s on-staff stylists to help make my decision. I simply clicked a “chat” button the site had and was immediately connected to a stylist who asked what kind of dress I was looking for. I described my body type as tall and flat-chested (sure to drive the men crazy).  The stylist was able to pull up my bookmarked favorites and see which dresses I was salivating over. Based on my information, the stylist suggested I try the Herve Leger bandage dress. Having seen my favorite celebrities, including Victoria Beckham and Rachel Bilson, wear Max Azria’s sexy creations, I was intrigued. With a vote of confidence from a few friends, I thought, “Just maybe I can pull this off.”

Unfortunately, Rent the Runway doesn’t send a tailor with their dresses. When I got the dress, I couldn’t fill out the top portion, and the bottom was so short I wouldn’t be able to leave the house without a bikini wax. You know the situation is dire when my two-year-old is running around the living room chanting, “Hooker dress! Hooker dress!”

I don’t blame Rent the Runway, I blame my 31-year-old, “I’m not ready to wear Mom jeans yet” ego. Had I chosen a safer style with a less snug fit, I would have been happier. Rent the Runway ensures their customer’s satisfaction, and even ships a second style for a $25 fee. I would definitely rent from them again, but would have thrown in that Diane Von Furstenburg my mom was raving about instead. Groan.

As for my anniversary dinner, I ended up wearing the same dress I wore to my engagement party. Lucky for me, my husband doesn’t notice things like dresses…or flat chests.

A newly released study out of Australia found that women who live with their husband and/or kids gain more weight than those who are single and live alone. While the logical conclusion would be that having children changes a woman’s metabolism and overall physique, the study found that even married women WITHOUT any children gain notably more weight than their single counterparts. For those women, the weight gain can be contributed to behavior alone.

My initial thoughts on upon reading this were, “Really?! Somebody paid for this study?!” Regardless of if a couple has children or not, getting married is a, though happy, stressful and life-altering event. The stress of marriage, shift of responsibilities and emotional work that goes into maintaining a marriage is enough to send any woman turning to a pint of Häagen-Dazs and a glass (or four) of red wine. Early in my marriage, before I had kids, I fought this stress, not by sacking out on the couch with my husband and a large pizza, but by dragging both of us to the gym, to the hiking trails or to the basketball court. Simply put, being in a marriage should not be an excuse to NOT take care of yourself, it should be a tool to help you and your partner be the best you can for each other.

After having kids, it’s easy to say that all bets are off and every man or woman for herself in terms of eating and exercise habits. Dealing with colicky newborns all day, endlessly laundering spit up covered clothing and bedding, all while carting around leaky boobs that one can’t even dream of stuffing in a sports bra doesn’t exactly light a fire under a new mom to get to the gym. Personally, though, I’m tired of women, and society in general, using motherhood as an excuse to be overweight.

I can’t tell you the number of people I have had come up to me on the street or in the grocery store and say, “Wow, you look great. You are in fantastic shape, FOR HAVING TWO KIDS.”  I’d rather listen to a Heidi Montag track stuck on repeat for hours than hear those qualifying words one more time: FOR HAVING TWO KIDS. Sure, time is limited, energy is waning and money is tight, but I’ve always found a way to do an exercise DVD during a nap, take the jogging stroller out after breakfast or even just run in place while my daughter played on the floor.

I strongly believe that postpartum depression is worsened, if not caused by a woman’s diet and exercise level after giving birth. While women should follow their doctor’s instructions regarding when it is safe to resume exercise, mothers of any age child owe it to themselves and to their families to take that time to get their blood pumping and energize, and to fuel their bodies with healthy, nutritious food.

So mothers and wives out there, you have a choice. You can play the victim and blame your kids and husband for your weight gain, or you can make yourself a priority so that you are the healthiest mother and wife you can be. As for me, I’ll be getting up early, working up a sweat, and feeling downright amazing … for having two kids.

Vegan German Chocolate Cupcakes

Cake (makes about 12 cupcakes):

• 1 1/4 c. whole wheat pastry flour
• 1/2 c. Nu Naturals Stevia baking blend and 1/2 c. organic sugar, or 1 c. organic sugar
• 1 heaping c. unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1/2 c. brewed coffee
• 1/2 c. water
• 1/4 c. canola oil
• 1 tsp. apple cider vinegar

Caramel pecan coconut topping:

• 1/2 stick Earth Balance
• 2 c. brown sugar
• 1/2 c. almond milk
• 2 T. cornstarch
• 1/2 t. agar agar powder
• 1/3 c. toasted unsweetened coconut
• 2 c. toasted pecans

Chocolate Frosting:

• 1/2 cup Earth Balance
• 2 cups powdered sugar
• 1 T. vanilla extract
• 2 T. almond milk
• 1/4 cup cocoa powder
• dash of salt

For the cake, preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Combine the dry ingredients and mix well.

In a small bowl, combine the wet ingredients and add them to the dry, stirring until just moistened.

Place batter in a lined muffin tin. Bake 20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.

For the caramel pecan coconut topping, melt the vegan butter in a sauce pan and add the brown sugar. Quickly whisk in the cornstarch and agar agar. Bring to a slow boil and set aside to thicken (you can refrigerate at this point as well to thicken more rapidly). When topping has thickened, stir in toasted coconut and pecans.

When the cupcakes are cooled, put a thin layer of chocolate frosting on top and then a spoonful of the caramel topping.

I’m convinced that the nation’s obsession with cheeseburgers has less to do with ground beef and more to do with the nectar of the Gods: ketchup.  At our house, there’s nothing we won’t put ketchup on, including ketchup.

Still, I’ve come up with a delicious, nutritious and guilt free medium for that ketchup.  This recipe is gluten free, fat free, vegan and without fillers or soy, unlike a lot of commerical veggie burgers.  It’s also economical, with the greatest expense being a can of beans, which you can likely get for less than a dollar.  Add some pickles, tomato, lettuce and some toasty buns and start the New Year right without the McGuilt.

Black Bean Burgers

• 1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
• 1/3 c. red onion, minced
• 1/2 c. mushrooms, chopped
• 1/2 c. oats, ground to a coarse texture
• 1/2 t. salt
• 2 t. cumin
• 1 T. vegan Worcestershire sauce
• 1 1/2 t. minced garlic

Mash the beans in a bowl with a fork until they make a nice chunky paste.  Stir in the remaining ingredients and formed the mixture into four patties.  Cook the patties in a skillet sprayed with cooking spray, over medium high heat for about 7 minutes per side.  Place on a toasted bun and dress with your desired toppings.

Meaty Vegan Green Bean Casserole

• 1 lb. green beans, trimmed and cut
• 4 oz. chopped mushrooms
• 1-3 Tofurky sausages, diced (optional)
• 1 c. vegetable broth
• 1/2 c. milk of choice (unflavored almond or soy will both work)
• 3 T. flour
• 1 t. soy sauce
• 1 t. vegan Worcestershire sauce
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 8 oz. can water chestnuts, sliced
• salt and pepper to taste
• 1 slice spouted grain bread, torn into chunks
• 1 T. Earth Balance soy margarine
• 1/2 of a 3 oz. can of French fried onions

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

Bring a pot of water to a boil.  Add green beans and a generous amount of salt.  Boil for 5 minutes.  Remove from heat and drain, rinsing with cold water and ice cubes (i.e. a lazy woman’s ice bath).

In the meantime, sauté mushrooms, garlic and diced Tofurky sausage in a medium skillet, until gently browned.

In a small mixing bowl, combine broth, milk, soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce and flour and whisk until well combined.  Add mixture to pan and heat until thickened and bubbling.  Adjust seasoning to taste.

Stir in chopped water chestnuts.  Place green beans in a medium casserole dish and pour sauce over the top.

In a food processor or blender, combine bread, Earth Balance and salt and pepper.

Sprinkle bread crumbs and fried onions over top of casserole and bake for 20 minutes.

Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but it also leads to desperate Google searches for anything I can find about the show. I’ve wondered since watching the first episode where the leads came from, what their musical backgrounds are, and why they haven’t been on Broadway before, or even the less prestigious “American Idol.” If you’re the same, you might be surprised at what I found:

Lea Michele, “Rachel”: Michele, 24, has been performing on Broadway since she was nine years old. She has even won a Grammy for Best Musical Show Album for “Spring Awakening” and is now nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical TV Series. She’s known Jenna Ushkowitz, who plays “Tina” on the show, since she was eight.

Cory Monteith, “Finn”: Cory, 27, hails from Vancouver, Canada, and has pursued acting since he dropped out of high school in ninth grade. He held a variety of jobs, from Walmart greeter to telemarketer, before he landed his first small TV role on “Stargate: Alantis” in 2004.

Matthew Morrison, “Will Schuester”:  Matt, 31, has performed on Broadway since 1999, starring in such shows as “Footloose” and “Hairspray.” He briefly appeared on “As The World Turns” before landing his current role on “Glee.” He has a Grammy on his shelf for Best Musical Show Album for Hairspray, and now been nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical TV Series.

Jayma Mays, “Emma Pillsbury”:  Jayma, 30, has played various TV roles on shows such as “Entourage,” “How I Met Your Mother,” “House,” “The Ghost Whisperer” and the ill-fated “Pushing Daisies,” as well as having a starring role in the Kevin James’ movie “Paul Blart: Mall Cop.” She is married to English actor Adam Campbell.

“Glee,” also nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Comedy or Musical TV Series, returns for the rest of its first season on April 13, 2010. It’s going to be a long winter.

Vegan Sugar Cookie Cutouts

• 2 c. whole wheat pastry flour
• 3/4 c. organic sugar/stevia or combination thereof (I use about 1/4 c. of sugar and 1/2 c. of NuNaturals Stevia Baking Blend)
• 1 t. baking powder
• pinch of cinnamon
• pinch of salt
• 1 stick (1/2 c.) Earth Balance, melted
• 1/4 c. unsweetened applesauce
• 1/4 c. almond or soy milk

Sift dry ingredients together in a large bowl.

Combine wet ingredients in your mixer and then slowly add dry ingredients until a dough is formed.

Remove dough, wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Roll dough out on a floured board to desired thickness and cut out with cookie cutters.

Transfer cookies to a cookie sheet lightly sprayed with non-stick spray.

Bake for 7 minutes.  Let cool thoroughly before frosting and decorating.

You can make a simply royal icing with powdered sugar, a splash of almond milk, and a few drops of vanilla, or use a store bought variety. Decorate with sprinkles as desired. And enjoy!

Christmas really is the most wonderful time of the year.  I love the sparkling, pine scented trees, the rosy cheeked, bright-eyed children that pad into my bedroom at 5 a.m. to open presents and the excuse to get together with friends and family that we either have intentionally or unintentionally been apart from all year.

Still, I’m not without my reservations when it comes to the most commercial of holidays.  It seems the main theme of Christmas has turned into spending, charging and trimming your Christmas tree “with some decorations bought at Tiffany’s.”  This year especially, the Christmas budget is a little smaller for us all, but that doesn’t mean that you need to turn your “fa la la”s into “bah humbug”s.  Here are five ideas on how to deck the halls without breaking the bank.

1.  Skip the coffee stand for festive drinks.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my peppermint mochas and my gingerbread lattes.  But at almost $4 a pop, it could mean the difference between my Aunt Shari getting a gift or just a warm hug.  It’s a cinch to add a few drops of peppermint extract, a splash of milk, a spoonful of cocoa powder and a couple packets of your favorite sweetener to a cup of home brew.  Really, isn’t Aunt Shari worth more than a red cardboard cup?

2.  Donate time with friends.

I love my friends, but I really don’t think they need another Bath and Body Works gift set.  What they do need is a way to get in the holiday spirit and spend time together.  Why not agree to volunteer together at a local shelter or retirement facility?  It won’t cost you a penny, but really will fill your heart and someone else’s too.

3.  Make homemade food gifts.

It truly is the thought that counts, and if you find the right recipe, your friends and relatives will appreciate the time it took to create a delicious gift.  In the past we’ve given toasted spiced nuts in pretty bags, cocoa mixes tucked in inexpensive mugs and chocolate dipped pretzel rods in cute takeout containers.  This year, we’re packing up some tasty gingerbread men, and if we’re feeling creative with the icing, we might just decorate them like the recipient.  Thank goodness many of our male relatives are bald.  It makes my job that much easier.

4.  Go shopping…in your closet.

I’m not talking about regifting, though that isn’t a bad idea now that I think of it.  I’m talking about planning an evening with your girlfriends to swap clothing, jewelry or shoes that are still great, but that you’re tired of.  Pick up a bottle of wine, hold onto some extras from those food gifts you are making, and invite the girls over with their best swag in tow.  You all get a new favorite item, but it won’t cost you a penny.

5.  Write an obituary.

As dark as it may sound, this is the best gift I have ever given, and the only thing it cost me was a little time, thought and a few misty-eyed moments.  I think in our sickest fantasies, we imagine what might be said about us at our funeral by our friends or loved ones.  I think my mother in particular has spent a lot of time picturing how her “ungrateful children” will remember her.  So per her request, I wrote my mother her obituary and framed it with several pictures of our family over the years.  I talked about fond memories of my childhood, the traits I admire most in her and what all she has given me throughout my life.  The love that filled me when writing it can’t come close to the joy she felt when she read it, and though I hadn’t spent a dime, it was priceless.  Dearfoam slippers, heated throws and Susan Boyle CDs will come and go, but giving of yourself, that’s what the holidays are all about.

In the skit, Keenan Thomson and Blake Lively, playing Tiger Woods and his wife Elin, participated in a mock CNN interview about the bizarre circumstances surrounding Woods’ car accident last weekend and the string of extramarital affairs that have surfaced since then.  A victimized Woods receives multiple beatings at the hands of his wife, and ultimately begs for help via notes written on the back of a script his wife has written for the interview. 

It is a rare instance, minus Justin Timberlake with his package in a package, that I actually am amused by SNL.  I am ashamed to admit that upon the first viewing, I laughed out loud at the outlandish skit and the sight of “Tiger” having a golf club wrapped around his head.  However, upon further reflection, I was deeply disturbed, especially when the next skit starred none other than Rhianna, a victim of domestic violence herself.  Not only did it seem wrong to be laughing at a situation involving a battered spouse, but it also felt like a huge double standard that we can make light of an allegedly violent incident if the victim is a man or “deserved” the beating based on his own infidelities.  Had SNL aired a skit mocking the incident with Chris Brown and Rhianna, I assure you they would no longer be on the air.

Furthermore, Elin Woods has not been charged with any crime and other than some watercooler musings, there is no evidence that she assaulted her husband at all.  Though SNL may have convicted and acquitted her in their skit, perhaps it is the show that has perpetrated an assault:  against the sensibilities of their viewers and victims of domestic violence everywhere.  Sometimes a laugh just isn’t worth it.

Despite her modest looks, which fall more along the lines of my grade school librarian than an international superstar, Boyle, 48, who released her first album in the U.K. last week, is breaking records.  Her album I Dreamed a Dream quickly became the U.K.’s top selling album of all time in first week sales by a debut artist.  The album of cover songs and holiday classics just hit America and has sold 701,000 copies in America so far, beating out Adam Lambert and Rihanna and becoming the best-selling debut of 2009.

The true beauty of Boyle, aside from her angelic and flawless voice, is that her music transcends generations.  I plan on buying a copy of the album for myself, as well as one for my parents and other relatives.  Everyone can get behind this shy Scottish woman, because she proves that dreams can come true, regardless of age or appearance.  Of course, it doesn’t hurt that girlfriend can sang.

Not to say that I didn’t cringe or gasp at all during the performance, but I wasn’t as “offended” as much of the country, including Good Morning America, who pulled Glambert’s scheduled performance.  I seem to remember some similar onstage antics by a pop superstar during an MTV Music Awards performance that I happened to be uncomfortably watching with my parents when I was twelve.  That performance also had simulated oral sex and open mouth kissing, it just happened to involve members of the opposite sex, and it happened to involve an artist you may have heard of: Madonna.  We then knew in our house that viewing Madonna’s performance was no longer going to be a family affair.  Luckily I was grown when I witnessed Madonna sharing a kiss with Britney during another award show performance.  While I recall there was talk, there certainly wasn’t outrage.  Apparently two attractive females kissing is far less offensive than two men kissing.

Granted, Glambert’s performance was on network TV and not a cable station, but like Ms. Material Girl, maybe now we have an idea of what to expect when he hits the stage.  Maybe consumers won’t be lining up to see his shows, but the projection of high record sales gives me a restored sense of faith that maybe we have made progress in moving past homophobia in our country.  The next time Glambert performs on live TV, though, I’ll make sure my parents are in bed already.

1. Carbtastic eats.

On no other day of the year can you guiltlessly get away with eating mashed potatoes, candied yams, corn, and rolls for dinner, followed by a slice of pumpkin pie for dessert. Dr. Atkins may be rolling over in his grave, but I’m just rolling back to the kitchen for more. Yum!

2. Football.

I’m not all that big of a football fan, but there’s something about seeing John Madden and Howie Long–especially Howie Long–in their holiday best handing out turkey legs that just makes me happy. I realize this makes me a terrible vegan. But I also love that this is the one game that I can fall asleep during and no one cares: it’s expected.

3. Pie Control.

No one in my family makes the pies but me. This gives me a tremendous amount of power. Power that I relish. Whatever type of pie I choose to make, be it vegan or just super healthy, you have no say in it, I do. So shut your pie hole!

4. Saying What I’m Thankful For.

Unlike some people, I appreciate being forced to sit and tell twenty members of my family what I’m thankful for. It ends up being like one of those Christmas newsletters when I can just brag about all the awesome things that I’ve done in the past year, like finally taking care of that ingrown toenail and tricking people into eating vegan pies.

5. I Can Start Celebrating Christmas Without Shame.

No matter what retailers would like you to believe, it’s just not right to put up decorations or pull out your Carpenter’s Christmas album until after Thanksgiving. But once you finish your Thanksgiving dinner, all bets are off, and you can start making your Christmas list right then and there. Or tinsel your house. Or plan what pie to make for Christmas. Muhahahaha.

I’m worried that my family will look at me like I am Lady Gaga in her bloody VMA costume. I am worried that I will dissect and interrogate everyone about every morsel of food offered to me to ensure there is no meat or dairy in it. I’m afraid there will be nothing for me to eat other than the pie I brought and a side of Pumpkin Spice Roasted Chickpeas.  Most of all, though, I am worried that I won’t be able to control my gag reflex when I smell cooking flesh and a big steaming turkey carcass is placed inches from my face.

My choice to become vegan started primarily out of ethics. I saw Food, Inc. I read Skinny Bitch. And I could not knowingly consume meat or dairy without having those images and words burning in my mind. Quickly though, meat and dairy just completely became unappealing. That flame-broiled smell upon passing a Burger King now has me dry heaving behind the steering wheel.

I know that I am in the minority of Americans who choose not to eat meat or dairy, especially on a day which seems to be all about the food. I have nothing personally against those who chose to eat meat, I only have a problem with those that are closed minded to my lifestyle.

Here, though, is my challenge to each of you, regardless of if you choose to eat meat or not: why not make our holidays and family gatherings about something other than food? I honestly believe that part of the reason why we have such an obesity epidemic in this country is because almost all of our beloved traditions and rituals revolve around food. But strip those occasions of those food rituals and you begin to realize: it’s just food.

We put the hot dog at the ball park, the popcorn at the movies, the ice cream reward for getting straight A’s and, yes, the Thanksgiving turkey on a great big all-you-can-eat pedestal, when really food is not what these occasions should be all about. The baseball game should be about bonding with your man over a game he loves, the movie should be about escaping into a world of fantasy for a few hours (away from your busy life), celebrating your child’s grade should be about expressing your love and pride, and Thanksgiving should be about being thankful for all you have and sharing that with family and friends.

So go ahead, fill your plate with whatever you choose. I’ll be focusing on filling my mind with memories of my time with my family, of enjoying conversations with friends I haven’t seen in awhile, of giving thanks for the blessings in my life and, of course, savoring a delicious slice of vegan pumpkin pie.

Source: www.motherearthnews.com

In what I’m sure will prove to be a literary classic among the likes of ”Catcher in the Rye,” “To Kill a Mockingbird” and, uhh, the Bible, Speidi will release “How To Be Famous: Our Guide To Looking The Part, Playing The Press and Becoming a Tabloid Picture.” Personally, though, I feel a more fitting title might be “How to be Infamous: Our Guide to Looking Ridiculous, Overexposure and Milking Your Fifteen Minutes of Fame.” Has a nice ring to it, yeah?

In the book, Heidi and Spencer insultingly compare themselves and their fame to that of Brad and Angelina. You know, cause while Speidi was whining in the jungles on “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here,” Pitt was building houses for victims of Hurricane Katrina, and Jolie was donating half a million dollars to help refugee and immigrant children. So yes, I would definitely lump the two together.

It is unbelievable to me that there is enough material for these two to write an entire book about. That said, even if the book doesn’t aim to be satirical, this may turn out to be a hilarious read. I just hope Heidi can find a copy of it as a Book on Tape, or perhaps hire somebody to read it to her.

In all seriousness, though, if I can take anything from this “accomplishment” of perhaps the most obnoxious couple of all time, it’s that anyone can get a book published. Perhaps I need to add “Lip Synced in a Grainy Soft Porn ‘Music’ Video” to my resume. In the end, though, all I know is that if Spencer wears his incredible black cowboy hat on the jacket cover, Borders will be getting a 20 dollar bill from my pocket.

Pumpkin Spice Roasted Chickpeas

• 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed, drained and patted dry
• 2 T. maple syrup
• 1 t. canola oil (or oil of your choice)
• 1 t. apple cider vinegar
• 1/8 t. salt
• 1/4 t. nutmeg
• 1/4 t. ginger
• 3/4 t. cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350.  Combine all ingredients in a large mixing bowl until evenly coated.

Spread chickpeas on a cookie sheet sprayed with cooking spray.

Bake for 25 minutes.  Stir chickpeas every ten minutes to ensure even crisping.

For leftovers, simply place chickpeas on a baking sheet and put under the broiler for a few minutes.  Watch them closely, though, unless of course you are hoping for some firemen in your kitchen.

That’s not to say that some of the best holiday movies of all time haven’t had their dramatic components. One could say that “A Christmas Carol” is about a lonely old miser, “Miracle on 34th Street” is about a single mother and her fatherless daughter’s fantasies created to minimize their pain, and that “It’s a Wonderful Life” is about a suicide attempt by a stressed and overworked father. But as we all know, those descriptions aren’t completely accurate.

Among the anticipated holiday releases this season are “Precious”, a film about a mistreated and obese pregnant teen, “The Road”, a dark and harrowing post-apocalyptic tale, and “The Lovely Bones”, which surrounds a murdered teen and the mystery surrounding her killer. However, like the aforementioned Christmas classics, simply summarizing the plot doesn’t even touch what these movies are about: finding light in the darkest of times.

At a time when our country is in dire straights economically, when more people are out of work and wondering how they are going to afford presents under the tree, these movies offer hope. And while I can appreciate a good scare or a cheap laugh, I am looking forward to a movie that makes me think and that makes me appreciate what I have, instead of dwelling on what I don’t. Now if we could just do something about the ridiculous ticket and concession prices, we’d be all set.